The four month mark was rapidly approaching, four months since my relationship with Elliott fell apart.
We first met at our new jobs in Chicago. We developed a friendship after learning we were both New York transplants. It was comfortable running into someone from home and we began having lunch together. It all seemed quite natural and we welcomed the company.
Our families were out of the picture; my parents were deceased and Elliottβs were estranged. He told me after his parentβs nasty divorce, all form of communication between the three of them deteriorated. Elliott and I were flying solo; in hindsight, our relationship was a safety net and in the back of my mind I think I always knew it wasnβt going to last.
After we broke up, Elliott took another job about 25 miles away. He gave me his new address and we talked on the phone a few times but after a couple of weeks I never saw or heard from him again. Once more I was totally alone. Truth is I was relieved. Every so often Elliottβs dark side came out; he was into drugs and I hated that ugly part of his life. I distanced myself from him and the relationship just disintegrated.
While I wanted someone in my life, I knew I wasnβt ready to throw myself into the dating scene. Clubbing and all its danger zones were not for me so, after some thought, I decided to try my luck at a dating app. While scoping out the various apps, I came across something else that piqued my interest β an online trivia group. Iβd always been good at playing Trivial Pursuit and would shout out the answers while watching Jeopardy! on TV. I never lost at those games so joining a trivia team was a no-brainer. It could also prove to be a good way to meet someone new, someone who enjoyed the same things as me.
When signing up for the group, I learned everyone had to provide an email address. Scanning the list of addresses, I was shocked to see one I recognized β it belonged to my ex, Elliott! I had no idea he was into trivia and I certainly wasnβt expecting this little snag but I was determined to see it through. Maybe with any luck heβd end up on the opposing team.
The games were to be held via ZOOM two nights each week with the option to meet more often. Two teams of six were formed; as luck would have it, not only was Elliott on my team β he was named as team captain! This ticked me off a bit but I kept my feelings to myself; I had the smarts for the game and was secretly hoping Iβd be the team captain. Well, weβd soon find out how much Elliott knew about trivia.
The games started up a week later and proved to be a lot of fun. They were fast paced and highly competitive but in a friendly way and I looked forward to our twice weekly meets. Elliott was, for lack of a better description, proving to be an asshole. Itβs possible I picked up on his erratic behavior before anyone else because I knew him and what signs to look for. I decided to let it slide; let Elliott dig his own hole.
Besides acting like a jerk, Elliott was also playing stupid mind games with me. Iβd catch him looking at me out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes heβd make lewd gestures or mouth something inappropriate β asinine stuff like that; if anyone else noticed, they didnβt let on and neither did I. βJust take the high road and let it goβ I reminded myself.
Then I started getting calls from an unknown number. Coincidence? At first Iβd answer but no one would reply. I blocked that number but prank calls started coming in from another anonymous number. I was sure it was Elliott using burner phones. What was his problem? I was enjoying the trivia group and I didnβt want his actions impacting my game so once again I turned a blind eye and ignored him.
Things took a strange turn when Elliott didnβt show up for a game one night. We carried on without him and he was there for the following game so no one questioned his whereabouts. Elliott was all over the place that night, giving wrong answers, shouting out non sequiturs and just being a total jerk. He signed off from the game as soon as it was over and the rest of us just laughed about his outlandish behavior afterwards.
The mind games escalated and Elliott started gaslighting me. Iβd see him sitting in his car outside my apartment at night and other times I saw him standing across the street when I left work. He didnβt try to make contact or follow me but it was still freaky. I refused to let him get to me and Iβm sure that pissed him off.
One day I got a delivery of a box of dried up flowers with a couple of pathetic dead birds tucked inside. Of course, it was absurd to think thereβd be a card but I didnβt need one to know it was from Elliott. Another time I found a brown paper bag outside my front door. I tentatively kicked at it with the tip of my shoe and a dead rat tumbled out. I thought about reporting the incidents to the police but kept them to myself; after all, I didnβt have any solid proof. It wasnβt always easy but I was the epitome of restraint.
Elliott missed the next two trivia nights but by now we were used to his unexplained absences. We all joked about what a clown he was and decided to name a new captain and reached out to someone on the standby list to join the group. Elliott was officially MIA and nobody really cared. Good β out of sight, out of mind.
A few days later one of our teammates went digging around for information. He learned that someone with the same name as Elliott, same age, same neighborhood, got arrested for operating a crystal meth factory in his basement! Everyone thought it was the most bizarre thing they’d ever heard. As for me, I thought it was typical of Elliott and no big shock; it was bound to happen sooner or later. Elliott deserved everything he got β not just for the drugs but for all the sick things he did to me.
But the very best part was the fact that nobody ever knew it was me who called the cops on Elliott. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
So long, Elliott. I guess nobody told him not to mess with the smart girls.
Eugene was a wreck β disheveled clothes, bloodshot eyes, tired, hungry and freezing. He had been working in the lab nonstop throughout this sleety March night, frantically perfecting a classified formula. He still had 300 small black-capped vials to fill, wrap securely in packing materials and stash inside porcelain statues before he could neatly stack them in crates and deliver them to the transportation facility before dawn. A HIGHLY TOP SECRET ASSIGNMENT, he was told.
The harried chemist was momentarily startled by a swift scurrying motion across the room. A rat? βKeep going – no time to dilly dallyβ he muttered to himself, choosing to ignore the unwelcome intruder.
There it was again, that scampering scurrying movement. Eugene glanced in the general direction of the noise, then did a double take, squinting. He removed his thick glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. Putting his specs back on, he snuck another peek. On a shelf, partially hidden behind urns and sculptures, sat a leathery-skinned troll with enormous eyes and long, pointy ears.
βReal, am I. Working too hard, are you. Weebly will helpβ, whispered the troll in a raspy voice.
βWhat theβ¦? This is insane!β Eugene rubbed his eyes again and took a swig of his now cold coffee, grimacing at it’s acrid taste.
βFinish, you wonβt. My help, you need. Watch.β Raising one gnarled finger, Weebly pointed to the formula and magically poured it into the vial, sealed it, carefully wrapped and hid it inside a statuette and gently placed it in a box. Eugene was too stunned to move.
βUnderstand now, you do? Work together, we will. Four hands better.β Weebly cocked his head to one side, his long finger rubbing his chin.
Despite his incredulity, Eugene accepted the fact that this clever troll was his only answer if he hoped to finish the project in time or face the deadly wrath of the powerful men in charge. Working together, the duo swiftly got the job done. Eyeing the clock, Eugene saw he had ten minutes to carry the heavy crates to the terminal across the compound.
βWeeblyβs help, you need. Too heavy, they are. Transport you, I willβ, offered the sage intruder, but Eugene dismissed him. Straining, he placed the boxes on a hand truck and walked toward the stairs.
βBeware the stairs! Frozen, they are!β
Unwisely, Eugene ignored his helper’s warning. Struggling up the frozen stairs, his feet suddenly flew out from under him and he lost his grip on the hand truck. Eugene tumbled backwards, crashed into a shelf and knocked over a hefty basilisk statue which crushed his skull, killing him instantly. The hand truck slid down the stairs and landed with an incredible crash inside Eugene’s laboratory, scattering its shattered contents everywhere.
βListened, you should haveβ clucked the wise old troll before scurrying away.
Going through some old posts and I came across this one. I don’t usually write poems but I always thought this was pretty good; hope you think so, too.
Rumors the Clown is coming to town. Heβll take your frown, turn it upside down. Saturday night at Monument Park West. Come see the joker whoβs the best of the best. Yes, Rumors the Clown is coming to visit So run children, run, or you surely will miss it
The circus wagon chugged through the streets Extolling Rumors the Clownβs incredible feats. The star of tv, the stage and the screen Would roll into town, a sight to be seen, This violet-haired, bumbling, zoot-suited jester, The idol of Harold and Mary and Lester
The kids scampered home to ask mom and ask dad βCan we go? Can we see him? We havenβt been bad. Itβs true! Itβs true! We heard and we saw Go look it up at the newspaper store!β Nothing this special has happened before. Rumors the Clown will be here for sure!
The next day the newspaper store was a-buzz As people poured in to make sure it was just As their children had told them, their faces a-glow Like the bright flaming torches at the juggling show. Could it be? Was it true? Were their children mistaken? Were dreams fed to them by somebody faking?
The storekeeper shouted βYou all think youβre so clever! Stop pushing and shoving! Such discourtesy β I never! Youβre all here in my store for the very same reason β Are the Rumors rumors true or is somebody teasing?β The children stood round with their eyes all a-gape When a shout rang out βHere it is, right here on page eight!β
βMake way! Let me throughβ the town librarian barked. βIβll take a close look with my assistant, Miss Lark.β They put on their glasses and read every word. Was the news printed here what the children had heard? βNow quiet everyone while I read the whole story; If you dare interrupt me you will surely be sorry!β
Come one and come all to the best show in town! Weβre speaking of course of Rumors the Clown. At Monument Park West on Saturday night. The most splendid performance will thrill and delight! Rumors will juggle, ride bareback and walk the high wire And perhaps β if youβre lucky β swallow a sword blazing with fire!
The extravaganza is free of charge to all who attend, Sponsored by philanthropists and the hospital band For the benefit of sick children and orphans here and there Who desperately need fun from some people who care. Saturday at eight β write it down and be there! Monument Park at the west wall β thatβs where!
βThatβs tonight!β someone yelled and they ran home to dress In their dandiest clothes so theyβd all look their finest. In dresses and new shoes and even a vest They headed out laughing, not stopping to rest They ran all the way to Monument Park West. But when they arrived at the end of their quest The west wall was locked, closed to all guests.
βThereβs nobody here! Whereβs Rumors the Clown? The newspaper ad said the west side of town!β And everyone cried, even mean Mr. Brown. In his shop the printer wore a terrible frown. Heβd made a mistake β he deserves a foolβs crown For the βWESTβ β not the βEASTββ is what he wrote down.
At Monument Park East Rumors sat crying alone The east side was empty for no one had shown. βMy days as a great clown are over and done; Itβs time to retire, go live in the clown home.β Blowing his nose Rumors pulled out his phone. βBozo? Itβs Rumors. And Iβm so very alone.β
Gregory Tomlinson stretched out on the top bunk, smoking his Lucky Strike cigarettes, watching the cloudy vapors swirl around the dimly lit corner of his berth on the U.S.S. Arizona. Some of the guys exchanged letters and treats from home, showing off photos of their wives and girlfriends. Others played cards and cursed at their radios sayingΒ βThis news is a bore! Turn it off and find some Glenn Miller!β And the men all laughed like boys at summer camp.Β
βHey, Gregoryβ whispered Leo Becker from the lower bunk. βCan I ask you a question?β
Gregory chuckled. βI think after eleven months trapped in this can you can ask me anything!β
Leo hesitated for a second then said βOk, here goes. How come you never get any mail?
Gregory didnβt answer and Leo could have kicked himself. Lighting another cigarette, Gregory inhaled deeply and blew a perfect smoke ring.
Just as Leo was about to apologize Gregory summersaulted off his bunk landing seamlessly on Leoβs. βThat is an excellent question, my friend.β
Leo was stunned. βI, a homely handyman from Reedsport, Oregon, am your friend?? With your Tyrone Power charm and good looks you probably have a girl in every port! All I have is this box of letters and photos from home.β
βHa!β snorted Gregory. βNothing could be further from the truth. Your box is very special, Leo; even if I had a box Iβd have nothing to put in it. When I was 15, my parents were killed in a car crash and I was left alone β a family of one. No siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins β no one. I took off and made the Navy my family.β
“I have a question for you, Leoβ Gregory continued nonchalantly. βHow many nights have we sat on your bunk poring over the contents of this box?β
Leo rubbed his chin thoughtfully, mumbling βeleven months, 30 or 31 nights give or take a few here or there .. Iβd say between 330 and 345β Leo calculated.
βAnd how many times did I ask you to describe Jenny to me?β Gregory asked as he stared at Jennyβs photo. Leo shrugged, unsure. Gregory stopped to light another smoke. βYou told me how you said “hi” to Jenny the day you were painting her office at the school and she said “hi” back and smiled. You said you got lost in her eyes and you knocked over a can of paint! She had the sweetest disposition and didn’t get mad, even when the stodgy principal went nuts over the spilled paint.β Gregory sighed. βYou said how you really started liking her a lot that day. You know why I asked you to tell me those stories about Jenny, Leo? Because I felt all alone but hearing you talk like that made me feel like I had two friends β you and Jenny.β
Leo barely had a chance to get his thoughts together when there was an enormous explosion, followed by continuous bombings and eruptions. Pearl Harbor was under attack. Leo quickly stashed his belongings into his knapsack and he and Gregory ran out to man the guns. The attack on the Arizona lasted about 11 minutes, long enough to kill Reedsport, Oregonβs own Leo Becker.
Upon Gregoryβs medical discharge from the navy, he was summoned by his commanding officer and handed a box which he recognized immediately as Leoβs. Gregoryβs name was written on an envelope attached to the box. When he opened the envelope he found a letter with an inscription:
“To my dear friend Gregory. I wish you could have seen how your face lit up whenever I talked about Jenny. You clung to every word I said. I never told you this but Jenny asked about you in every letter she wrote to me. Truth is, she was much more interested in you than she was in me. But you know what? That’s OK. If ever there were two people who belong together it’s you and Jenny. I love you both and you two love each other, too, even though you haven’t even met yet. Don’t waste another minute, Gregory. You belong with Jenny and she belongs with you.”
Gregory’s eyes welled up with tears and he could barely make out the last few sentences. Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, he read on:
“My friend, I’ll be watching you from heaven. Call Jenny; her number is on the back of this letter. It will make me so happy knowing my two dearest friends finally found each other. Don’t forget your old pal, Leo.“
Gregory tucked Leo’s box under his arm and picked up his knapsack. He walked down the hallway and spotted a bank of telephone booths. He stared at Leo’s letter for about three seconds before reaching for the phone.
Born two days before Christmas in 2002 at the same time in the same hospital were two beautiful baby boys. Both had gossamer flaxen hair and skin the color of edelweiss. The nurses marveled at their incredible likeness, remarking in their sing-song Irish accents βJesus, Mary and Joseph, would ya look at that! These babes could be twins!β
One baby was born to the king and queen of high society, Carlton and Evelyn Winslow of the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The couple were like bookends β fair skin, blond hair and hazel eyes. The Winslow’s luxurious penthouse was located across the street from Mercy Hospital. Evelyn was having tea with friends in her comfortable library at home when she suddenly went into labor.
The other baby was the illegitimate son of Rosa Guarinos, an impoverished cleaning lady from the slums of Harlem. Her complexion was creamy, hair golden brown and eyes of green like her ancestors from ancient Persia. Rosa was sweeping the floors of Ken’s Tailoring, the little shop in Harlem where she worked when her water broke. Her kindly boss Ken Siegel carefully escorted her to Mercy Hospital.
It was fate that brought these two women from such divergent stations in life to the same hospital on the same winter’s night. Hours later both women had given birth to sons.
Five days later on December 28th the new mothers were discharged from the hospital. Evelyn and Carlton Winslow brought Maxwell home to their posh apartment where his elaborately decorated nursery awaited him. A specially trained nanny took care of Maxwellβs every need while the waitstaff plumped Evelyn’s pillows and served her breakfast in bed.
Ken drove Rosa and her baby Victor home to her basement apartment in Harlem. He offered his help getting Rosa and Victor settled but she declined saying he had already done so much for them. There was a mattress on the floor in one corner of the basement on which Rosa dozed restlessly while her infant son slept in an old borrowed cradle. The bathroom consisted of a toilet bowl and a sink where Rosa washed herself with a sponge, shivering in the cold December night. She breastfed Victor and cooked simple meals for herself on a hotplate.
The identical babies grew into identical toddlers. The Winslows celebrated Maxwellβs first birthday with a spectacular party at Tavern on the Green attended by their many acquaintances. Rosa and Victor marked his first birthday with a simple cake shared by Ken and a handful of trusted friends.
Shortly after Victor’s birthday, Ken proposed marriage to Rosa; he had always been in love with her and Rosa knew he was a kind and decent man. She cared deeply for him and believed in time she would grow to love him. They got married and the family moved uptown where Ken had acquired a larger space and expanded his small tailoring shop into a successful men’s clothing store. Their lives improved significantly and they were very content.
The years went by; Maxwell and Victor were now teenagers, entirely unaware of the otherβs existence. Though they lived just two miles apart, the large and busy city allowed them to lead separate lives. They attended different schools and their paths never crossed. They were both happy, well-adjusted boys with many friends yet sometimes they both felt an unusual void in their lives β something neither one could understand or easily dismiss.
One day between Christmas and the new year Carlton brought Maxwell to Ken Siegel’s shop to buy a new suit for his son’s 18th birthday.
βWe’re closing early today, Mr. Winslow β itβs a family matter. I’m sorry but I must ask you to come back tomorrowβΒ Ken stated nervously when Carlton and Maxwell entered the shop.
βOh, come on, Ken. You always make time for meβ replied Carlton in his usual condescending manner. βI brought my son Maxwell in for a suit for his birthday. Are you trying to get rid of us?β
βI’m sorry but I have something personal to attend to. I really must close now!β Ken insisted.
But it was too late for just then Victor and Rosa emerged from the back room; they were laughing happily and Rosa held a small cake with a single candle. When the two teenage boys came face to face, a silence fell over the shop. They stared at each other in a strange sort of amused bewilderment, unable to deny or explain their identical appearance.
Carlton gasped in shock when he saw Rosa and she became faint; they had not laid eyes on each other in a very long time. Ken rushed to Rosaβs side and whispered βIβm sorry, my darling. I tried to get rid of them.I never wanted him to see you or Victor. I failed you.”
Rosa reached up and tenderly caressed her husband’s face, now wet with tears. “Oh, my sweet husband. This day was inevitable and you are not to blame” Rosa replied softly.
Gathering all his courage, Ken stood up proudly and spoke directly to Carlton. βMr. Winslow, as you know twenty years ago I ran a small tailoring shop in Harlem. Rosa worked as my assistant, sewing and ironing in that tiny shop … but you knew that because you came there often. Eventually I was able to acquire this lovely store and you became one of my regular customers. After Victor was born, I asked Rosa to marry me and we have been together for seventeen years. Mr. Winslow, Victor is my adopted son and he’s very precious to me. I love Victor and Rosa dearly; we are a family. But even someone as self-centered and obtuse as yourself would know at first glance that both Victor and Maxwell are your biological sons.β
Clearly stunned by this information, Carlton stammered βRosa, why didnβt you tell me you were pregnant?β
βBecause you were married and your wife was also pregnant. You would never have supported us or accepted us as your familyβ Rosa cried.
βBut you deprived me of a son and Victor of a father! I could have provided for him.β Carlton argued.
Ken loudly slammed his hand against the front desk, startling everyone. βVictor is MY son. I am the one who lovingly and happily provided for him and Rosa!β he shouted. βYou would never have done so even if you knew about Victor. You and your kind are selfish and spineless; you have money but you have no respect or dignity. Now, I must insist that you leave and never bother us again!β
βVictorβ Carlton said haltingly, βI didnβt know. You have to believe I would have done the right thing by you and your mother. You’re a bright boy; surely you can see that.”
Victor simply stared impassively at Carlton, the father he never knew, and said nothing. Finally, when he spoke, his voice was surprisingly calm. “Mr. Winslow, you know nothing about me. Please do not dare to insinuate yourself into my life or the lives of my parents.”
Victor’s words stung and Carlton was taken aback. “Maxwell” he said angrily. “It’s best we leave here, son. Letβs go home. Now!β
βNo, father. After all I just heard, there’s no way I’m leaving now. You can turn your back and walk away but I can’tβ Maxwell replied. βI just found a missing piece of my life. Iβm going to stay and get to know my brother, if that’s ok with Mr. and Mrs. Siegel.“
Rosa and Ken looked at each other and nodded in agreement. “You’re always welcome here, Maxwell” said Ken.
Carlton was furious but he made no attempt to reach out to his sons. Instead, he angrily left the store and began walking home, wondering how he would explain this to Evelyn. It wasn’t going to be easy but he’d figure something out. He always did.
Mid-August in Alabama is about as hot as hellβs back kitchen, or at least thatβs what folks like to say. It was just me and ma making do as best we could since my pa got himself killed in some place called Vietnam. I donβt recall much about the day we got the news. Couple of soldiers in fancy uniforms came to the door and mama started wailing like she was being skinned alive. Ma never really got over that. Some folks said she went plum crazy that day. Sheβd sit on the porch in that rickety old rocking chair staring straight ahead, just mumbling to herself and fidgeting with paβs dog tags like they was rosary beads.
I sorta became invisible to ma so I started spending my time down by the watering hole mostly swimming and fishing so weβd have something to eat. I went hunting one day, surprising ma with a rabbit and we cooked it up for dinner. Ma hugged me tight and put paβs dog tags around my neck. Next morning I found her hanging in the barn and started screaming till the neighbors came running. Thatβs when I began living with the Jenkins Family. I was six years old.
The Jenkinsβ was good hard-working farm folk and they treated me real fine. They had a truckload of kids β eight boys and one girl β but they didnβt think twice about taking me in. Ma Jenkins always said βKids fill the house with love. Whatβs one more mouth to feed?β
At first the days moved slow as molasses in February. I knew right quick that farming wasnβt for me but I did my share every day. When I was about fifteen or so Ma Jenkins said I sprouted into a handsome devil, the spitting image of my pa. Right about the same time I started taking up with Nell Jenkins. Two years older than me, she was all legs, boobs and big sky blue eyes. We made love every night and she taught me stuff I didnβt think was possible. Somehow we never got caught. We was crazy for each other but I wasnβt looking to get hitched. I knew if I didnβt get off that Alabama farm Iβd die there. One night while Nell slept I placed my paβs dog tags on her pillow and slipped out. I was 17 years old.
I lied about my age and got me a job as a long distance trucker; hard as it was, it beat the hell outta farming. Shit! Where have the years gone? I been trucking now for 16 years. Iβm only 33 years old and dog tired; I feel like I’m 103. I been thinking a lot about Alabama lately β maybe settling down, getting a job in a hardware store. A few days later I quit my job and went back to where it all began.
There was a nip in the air when I arrived home on the morning of New Year’s Eve. It felt like snow could be coming. The Christmas tree was up in the town square, the same weathered ornaments I remembered from my teenage years. I got out of my pickup and looked around a bit; not much had changed. A brisk wind blew in from nowhere; I rubbed my hands together and stuffed them in my pockets to stay warm. Snow hereabouts was almost unheard of.
Wileyβs Diner was still there. I went in and sat at the counter. It was early and the place was deserted. The cook popped his head out from the kitchen and asked what I’d like. βCoffee, pleaseβ I said and stared out the window as the first snowflakes started drifting in and I got lost in Alabama memories.
“Here ya go, fresh hot coffee. How about a slice of apple pie with that?” I turned to see a young waitress wearing a Santa hat, a welcoming smile on her face. She was a pretty little thing and I found myself staring into big sky blue eyes. My heart skipped a beat. She wore a name tag with ‘Stevie’ written on it; around her neck hung dog tags and I knew. Lord Jesus! This is my baby girl! I asked if her maβs name was Nell and she smiled, saying βYes. Do you know her?βΒ I said I did a long time ago. I donβt know what possessed me but I scribbled my name and number on a napkin, asking her to kindly give it to her ma. She said she surely would and tucked it in her pocket.Β Β Choking up a bit, I lowered my head and busied myself with my breakfast. I couldn’t chance her seeing the tears in my eyes.
I tapped the brim of my cap and smiled, saying “See ya” to the girl wearing my pa’s dog tags around her neck. “Now don’t forget about giving my note to your mama”.
“No sir, I surely won’t” she replied with a smile and patted the pocket of her waitress uniform.
I walked back to my truck and sat for a long time in the cab, my face in my hands. Dear God, is this some sort of New Year miracle? Did you bring me back here to find my daughter? After so many years and thousands of miles I wondered if Nell would find it in her heart to give me a call.
Roger Prince was freezing. He had never been this cold in all his life. In fact, he was cold as a block of ice. Why was Roger Prince so cold? Because he was dead … stone-cold, dead-as-a-doornail D.E.A.D. You see, Roger had a big problem … he could never say βnoβ … and now because of that he was dead.
Roger Prince was the nicest guy youβd ever meet … the type of guy whoβd let you go ahead of him in line. The type of guy whoβd help change your flat tire. The type of guy whoβd loan you $10. Roger Prince was … well, a prince.
But poor Roger Prince … as nice as he was … was also kind of a sap because he just couldnβt say βnoβ. If there was such a thing as being too nice, that was Roger … that was his Achilles heel, his weak spot, his fatal flaw.
Temporarily unemployed, Roger tried saving money by moving into the upstairs bedroom of old Mrs. Willoughbyβs house in the outskirts of town. A housebound widow with no family, Mrs. Willoughby let Roger stay for practically nothing. Having no tv or phone, her expenses were minimal. Roger helped pay for utilities, maintained the house and brought in what little mail was delivered. He also went to the grocery store to buy Mrs. Willoughbyβs staples: peanut butter, bread, instant coffee and a few toiletries.
This particular December morning, a heavy snow started around 2:00. When Roger woke up at 8:00, it was still coming down and showed no sign of stopping. Going into the kitchen for his morning coffee, Roger found none … also no bread.
βRoger, dearβ came a feeble voice from the parlor. βCan you run into town for coffee and bread? I forgot to ask you last night.β
βMrs. Willoughby, have you looked outside? Thereβs three feet of snow out there!β Seeing her confused and distressed look, Roger couldnβt say no. βDonβt worry. Iβll head into town right now.β
Roger mumbled βWhy do we live in the middle of nowhere?!β
Wind-swept snow whirled around Rogerβs face as he slowly trudged into town. Suddenly he lost his footing and tumbled down a steep hill, his eyes widening as he slammed head first into a tree. How ironic that his final startled word would be βNOOO!!β
Roger Prince died instantly, the falling snow enveloping his body.
Kessa Hopkins practically floated through the entrance of the Joffrey Ballet School; auditioning for the world-renowned academy was a dream come true for her. The road ahead wasnβt going to be easy. This was only half the battle; if she passed todayβs audition she would have to pass a second, more difficult audition if she hoped to be accepted to the school. Joffreyβs admissions are highly competitive and only 4% of students go on to graduate. At least for now she had her toe in the door.
Kessa felt her first exhausting 90-minute audition went well but it was impossible to read the faces of the judges. When she was done the head judge thanked her for coming and said the review board βwould be in touchβ. Two weeks later, when the email from Joffrey finally arrived, Kessa was too nervous to open it. When she finally worked up the courage to read the email, she held her small drawing pad up to the computer screen and very slowly revealed one word at a time:
βDear Ms. Hopkins,
We at the Joffrey Ballet School are pleased to inform you β¦β
βpleased to inform youβ¦β Kessa stared at those four words for an eternity before letting out a scream that caused her cat to race out the room, paws frantically skidding against the wood floor as he made his escape. Kessa crept up to the computer to read the email in its entirety, praying she hadnβt misread the opening line. Relieved that everything was copacetic, she pushed the print button on her computer. Snatching the paper from the printer, Kessa jumped onto her bed, read and re-read the letter at least 10 times, folded it neatly and placed it under her pillow. Then, before anyone could say βon pointeβ, she leapt up and pirouetted around her room until she was dizzy.
βThey liked me! They really liked me!β she breathlessly exclaimed to her reflection in the mirror. Then it hit her: she had to do this a second time, even better than the first. Euphoria dissipated into self-doubt; Kessa bounded up the stairs to her safe place β the loft where she spent hours painting and clearing her head. Kessa painted ballet dancers in the impressionist style using quick, loose brush strokes; she had an impressive collection of more than two dozen pieces of artwork in her loft.
Kessa was the real deal, a genuine hat trick with beauty, brains and talent. She was also her own worst enemy, quick to be overwhelmed with anxiety and self-doubt about her ability to succeed. As she painted she thought about the email from Joffrey. Okay, so she passed the first round; that was great. Now she had two weeks to prepare an eight-minute original routine as part of her next audition.
The next two weeks consisted of Kessa planning her dance routine and sketching the ballet positions she planned to incorporate into her program. This was her tried and true method β plan, sketch and practice. Once Kessa knew her routine was solid, she would create paintings using her sketches as reference.
Time always seemed to fly by when Kessa was on a deadline; now the day of the audition was here. She packed up her art portfolio with the plan to pass the time during the auditions by sketching the other dancers. When Kessa arrived at the school, she was surprised to see only six other people had received callbacks. She barely had time to warm up when she heard her name. Kessa didnβt mind auditioning first; sheβd be relieved once it was over and she could sketch the other dancers.
It didnβt take the judges very long to make their decision. Only two of the six dancers passed the audition; Kessa was not one of them. Upon hearing the news, Kessaβs heart sank; she closed her eyes for a few seconds letting the reality sink in, then turned and walked back to her corner of the room. While she was putting her sketches away, someone approached and said her name. Looking up, Kessa recognized one of the judges. βWhat could he want?β she wondered. Standing, she asked βYes? What can I do for you?β
βI was hoping youβd show me your etchingsβ was his response.
Despite her disappointment over failing the audition, Kessa had to laugh. βSorry, that sounds like an old pick-up line only in reverse.β
The man laughed, too, and replied βVery quick on the uptake, Miss Hopkins! I admire that. Talent and a sense of humor, too.β
βWhat happened today was unfortunate but if itβs any consolation, you were in the running. Itβs a tough field, Kessa. You knew that going in.β His response was honest and he had a refreshing way of speaking. βBut at the moment I truly am more interested in your drawings. May I?β
Kessa didnβt mind showing anyone her sketches; she was proud of her work and pleased this man took an interest. After a few moments he asked βDo you paint as well?β
βOh, yes. Oils mostlyβ Kessa replied, intrigued by his curiosity. βIn fact, I think I have one of my smaller paintings with meβ and she started rifling through her portfolio, pulling out an 8×10.
The man took the canvas from Kessa and walked to the light near a window, examining it closely and speaking softly to himself. He turned to Kessa. βTell me, do you paint ballet dancers exclusively?β
βYes. Ballet and painting are my passions. Excuse me but who are you?β
βOh, forgive me! My name is Julius DeWitt. My father is Dean of Admissions here at Joffrey.β
βOh, I seeβ Kessa said, not quite sure how to react to that information.
βKessa, I know your heart was set on attending Joffrey. Not passing an audition is a bitter pill to swallow. I was in your shoes once and what I thought was the end of the world was actually a blessing.β
Intrigued, Kessa asked Julius what he meant.
βIt would be much easier for me to show you. Please, Kessa. Come with me.β
Julius had a pleasant way about him and Kessa was curious. Gathering her belongings, she followed Julius down the hallway to a large, glass enclosed room. A plaque on the door read βThe Julius and Cecile DeWitt Art Galleryβ.
Kessa looked around questioningly; the room was empty. βI donβt understand, Mr. DeWitt. If this is an art gallery, where are all the paintings?β
βWeβre just getting started, Kessa, and are about to begin our search for an artist to fill these empty walls with beautiful paintings. After seeing your drawings, I believe you are that person. I would like to name you as Joffreyβs permanent resident artist.β
Kessa was stunned. This was not the direction she thought her failed audition would take her. βMr. DeWitt. I donβt know what to say.β
βThen donβt say anything, Kessa. Let me explain what weβre all about and then, after youβve had time to think, you can decide.β
In response to my friends at Fandangoβs One-Word Challenge, todayβs word is βgambler.β
βSo, kid, your ma says you wanna work on my horse ranch. Is that right?β Micah asked Billy Bob.
βYes sir. I love everything βbout horses and I asked my ma if we can get one and she told me we couldnβt afford one so the only way I can be around horses was to come work on your ranchβ Billy Bob answered, feet kicking up dust as he shuffled around nervously.
βWhat is it you love so much βbout horses, kid?β asked Micah.
βTheyβre the most beautiful animals I ever seen. I like the idea of taking a wild horse and workinβ with him every day, gettingβ him to trust youβ replied Billy Bob, his eyes lighting up with excitement.
βBreakinβ in a horse is one of hardest things I ever done, kid. Everything βbout being a horse rancher is hard. You ready for that?β Micah asked the kid.
βI reckon. All I know is I need to learn everything there is βbout horses, what makes βem tick, how to train βem to be the best horses ever. I canβt think of anything more excitinβ β¦ except gettingβ rich, that is.β Billy Bob answered. He had a burning in him that Micah saw clearly now.
Micah removed his Stetson, pulled out a bandana from his back pocket and wiped his brow. “Well, kid. You sure got the desire, needinβ to know everything βbout horses. But you gotta understand one thing βbout workinβ on a horse ranch: it ainβt gonna make you rich. Thatβs a real long shot!β Micah waited for Billy Bobβs reaction.
Billy Bob didnβt hesitate. βThatβs ok, sir. Iβm smart; thatβs what everybody says anyway. Iβll learn right quick. Besides, I donβt plan on workinβ on a horse ranch forever. No sir. Once I know everything there is to know βbout horses, Iβm gonna follow my dream.β
βAnd whatβs your dream, kidβ Micah asked, his curiosity aroused.
βIβm gonna be the smartest, most famous and richest gambler that ever wasβ Billy Bob replied with proud determination.
In January, 2021 I wrote a story with an unresolved ending called “On the Way”. It was one of several which I recorded and submitted to the BBC Radio show called Upload. When my story was broadcast on the air, the program host William Wright commented that he hoped some day I would write a follow-up. That comment stayed with me and fourteen months later I decided to do just that. That story was called “When the Fog Rolls In.” Recently I thought it would be interesting to combine the two stories by creating a new beginning and ending and tweaking sections within the body of the stories. Since then, I had the opportunity to enter a fiction writing contest; the call was for a 1,000 – 3,000 word mystery story. I decided to submit my reconstructed story. The word counter on my Microsoft Office page said the story was 2,654 words β not too shabby. I don’t enter many contests but every time I do I’m shocked by the number of writers who also submit stories. My stuff better be damn good if it stands a chance of winning against 400+ entries. Well, my story did not win but that’s okay; I tried my best and had fun creating this compilation. I am not deterred. The winning story was a masterpiece and deserved to come in 1st place so kudos to the author. Here is my story; I hope you enjoy ‘Screaming in the Night’.
βI can see it now! I can see it! Got to get it!!β
David Stapleton screamed in his sleep. He flailed about on his bed, entangled in a mass of sweaty sheets and blankets. David slowly started to come out of his stupor, stuck in a surreal and frightening dimension between sleep and wakefulness. His eyelids felt stuck together and his mouth was parched. His body was stiff and leaden, his breathing heavy, his heart beating rapidly. David wasnβt sure of his surroundings; was this real or was he reliving his worst nightmare?
Gradually David became more aware. Yes, it was as he feared β the uncontrollable, unstoppable dream, his nightly companion. He sat up in bed and reached for a cigarette. Flipping open his old, beat up lighter, he lit a Marlboro and inhaled deeply. He sat in silence, smoking and thinking, his thoughts spinning like a Vegas roulette wheel. Each night he crawled into bed exhausted, desperately in need of sleep yet terrified that the dream would come again.
David glanced at his alarm clock; 4:17 AM β ridiculously early but he knew he would not be falling back to sleep. He slipped on his sweatpants and shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee. While the coffee brewed, David stared into the oh so familiar fog. He lit another cigarette and thought about that night four years ago.
Four Years Earlier:
David drove home that dark and foggy night barely able to see the road ahead of him. An electrical storm that evening wreaked havoc with the streetlights on Route 718 causing them to flash at indiscriminate intervals. Even though his was the only car on the dimly lit road, the strobe effect from the lights was haphazard and dangerously distracting. There were shadows looming everywhere; David never saw the cyclist cross his path.
The impact was powerful yet made only a quiet thud like the subtle reload of a gunβs magazine. The visual impression, however, was appalling. The tableau switched to slow motion; David watched in horror as a mangled body performed a βdanse macabreβ across the hood of his car while musical passages from βO Fortunaβ screamed in his head. The cyclist soared through the air like an acrobat and landed in a twisted heap 20 feet or so away.
David sat motionless in his car; no other living creature was anywhere in sight. βWhat to do? What to do?β raced through his mind. Heβd never had a car accident, not even a parking ticket. Now he had run someone down β an innocent cyclist. Was it a man or a woman? Surely this person would be missed by family and friends, perhaps his or her parents or β God forbid β their children. What a terrible fate, a horrible accident. Yes, David had a few drinks after work, just a few; the alcohol had to be out of his system by now. But wait; the cyclist wore no reflective clothing, not even a warning light on the bikeβs handlebars or wheels. Out cycling in the night, alone; wasnβt that tempting fate? Maybe they got what they deserved.
Slowly David opened the door and looked around; the deafening silence was pounding in his brain, the absence of people other-worldly. With measured steps he approached the crumpled body. A gentle push of his booted foot confirmed what he already suspected: the cyclist was dead. A battered helmet sat near the edge of the road; the bright orange and black βKTMβ emblem of the bicycle manufacturer in Austria stared at David accusingly. The longer he looked at the emblem the more he realized he had two choices: he could report the accident to the police and face the consequences or he could clean up this mess and get on with his life.
As he walked back to his car David knew what he had to do. A look at the front end showed very little damage, a small inconvenience he could deal with later. More pressing matters prevailed; first he had to extricate the bicycle from under his car. David sat in the driverβs seat, shifted the car into reverse and gently backed up. After a couple of seconds he could feel the car and the bicycle disengage.
The bike was a wreck but there wasnβt much debris on the road. Retrieving his leather jacket, David wrapped it around the top tube bar of the bike and carried it back to the dead cyclist. Taking a few steps away from the road he realized it would be easy to throw the bike over the edge, making it look like the cyclist had swerved off the road β if the body was ever found at all. He gave the bike a hefty toss and it disappeared into the woods below. With his foot David then rolled the cyclistβs body and helmet down the hill.
David walked back to his car and broke off a low hanging branch from a tree which he used to sweep the road clear of any pieces of glass or metal. Getting back into the car, he turned on the radio and cranked up the volume; his adrenaline was pumping.
βOkβ David murmured to himself. βItβs all gonna be ok. Just one last thing. Got to take care of that little dent in the hood of my car.β David kept driving until he reached a busy gas station. As he drove up to a pump, he intentionally smashed into a metal barrier; witnesses could attest to the fender bender.
Davidβs decision to flee the scene was fueled by fear and self-preservation. Now as he drove home he felt much more relaxed and confident. He reached for his jacket but it wasnβt there. His face went pale and he broke out in a cold sweat. Closing his eyes he could clearly see his jacket wrapped around the bicycle, his phone still in the pocket, as it made its final descent into the woods.
Four Years Later:
Tom Delaney sat alone at his favorite bar sipping his third bourbon. Life had quickly gone down the shitter a few months ago when he bet big time on a βsure thingβ that didnβt pan out. That was one of Tomβs biggest faults; he was always looking for the quick fix, the money angle, whether legit or not. Now here he was, a 38-year-old washed up ex PI with a huge chip on his shoulder, a failed marriage and no money.
When the bartender announced closing time, Tom begrudgingly slid off his stool and made his way to his car. He took Route 718 toward his parentβs cabin which they left to him in their will. With no other known relatives, Tom was totally alone trying to get his life back on track. So far he wasn’t having much luck.
The weather was changing and when the fog rolls in, driving on 718 gets hairy.
He wasnβt on the road very long when he found himself in pea soup conditions. Suddenly a deer appeared out of nowhere and Tom swerved, coming to a screeching stop. After a brief standoff, the deer gracefully bounded down the steep edge and disappeared into the thick woods.
Shaken, Tom settled himself in his car. The glow of the headlights picked up the reflection a shiny object in the thicket below. Being a curious type, Tom drove his car closer to the edge and grabbed a flashlight from the backseat. Gingerly he made his way down the side of the bluff landing on a heavily overgrown outcropping about 15 feet below. He walked around for a few minutes before his foot came in contact with an unknown object; whatever it was rolled a couple of feet away. Tom walked over and crouched down for a better look; the item turned out to be a battered helmet with the weather-beaten orange and black βKTMβ emblem of a bicycle manufacturer.
Disappointed that his find wasnβt something valuable, Tom stood up to leave. He took a few steps and heard a strange βcrunchβ under his Doc Martens. Shining his flashlight on his boot, Tom couldnβt believe what was buried under the leaves and debris.
βHoly shit! A human skeleton!” Tom immediately remembered the helmet. “Poor guy must have ridden his bicycle off the road. Wonder where the bike is?” Tom panned the area with his flashlight. He was about to give up when something caught his eye. “Well, well, what have we here?β Tom moved some leaves out of the way and discovered a fanny pack which he took, clipping it onto a loop on his jeans. Maybe heβd get lucky and find some money in the bag.
Deciding to investigate a little more, Tom eventually came across the bicycle caught up in a large bush. It was a mangled mess, certainly of no value to him; nearby was a moldy leather jacket. Tom snagged the jacket and went through the pockets; nothing. Noticing a zippered inner compartment, he found an iPhone inside. Slipping the phone into his rear pocket, Tom slowly pulled himself up the cliff to his car and drove off. He left the scene with that uneasy, suspicious feeling heβd get while working on a case. Old habits die hard.
Once home, Tom reached into his rear pocket and retrieved the phone he found in the leather jacket. He emptied the contents of the fanny pack onto the kitchen counter: assorted crap, a wallet and an iPhone. βHmm. Two phones. Why would one person need two iPhones? Maybe two people were there that night. What the hell happened? Was this the scene of an accident or a crime?β Tomβs PI sixth sense was working overtime now.
Both phones were wet. Drying them off, Tom placed the phones and SIM cards into two separate Ziploc bags filled with silica gel packets he had stockpiled. Theyβd have to dry out a day or two. Next he went through the wallet: $47 which he immediately pocketed, an expired debit card and a driverβs license. The license was issued to Joseph Barnes, 312 Ogden Terrace, Sparta, NJ. β a 90-minute drive from Tom’s cabin.
Tom broke out his own iPhone and Googled βJoseph Barnes, Sparta, NJβ; it took a little while as he scrolled down then BINGO! There it was β a missing person flyer dated January 2018. Last known location was Bethlehem, PA β a few miles from the cabin. There was a phone number to call. A picture of Joseph Barnes on a bike holding a KTM helmet smiled at Tom; the same face was on the driverβs license.
While the phones dried out, Tom spent most of the following day at Wind Creek Casino in Bethlehem playing the penny slots with Joseph Barnesβ $47. He was on a roll and left the casino with $100 in his pocket. Tom couldnβt wait any longer and anxiously drove home to see if he could get the iPhones up and running.
He took the phones out of the bags, inserted the SIM cards and turned them on; both phones started up. To Tomβs amazement, neither phone needed a passcode. Checking ‘Settings’ on both phones, he found what he suspected all along: one phone belonged to Joseph Barnes and the other belonged to someone named David Stapleton from Allentown, PA.
βDavid, David, David. Why were you on Route 718 that night and what did you do to Joseph Barnes?β he thought. Tom realized that after four years David Stapleton could be anywhere with a different identity, job and phone number but there was only one way to find out. After his win at the casino, he was feeling lucky. This could be the big break he was waiting for.
Slipping the two phones into his pockets, Tom drove to his favorite bar. On the corner was an old phone booth with a pay telephone β the untraceable kind. Tom opened Davidβs iPhone; there were two different phone numbers for him. Tom hesitated for a minute thinking about his days as a PI.
Instinct took over, suggesting he ignore the first number on Davidβs phone and go for the second one. Tom reasoned that the first number was likely Davidβs cell number; there was a chance the second number was for a business or a house for David β anything that might provide a clue. It was worth a shot. After all, Tom wasnβt looking to talk to David just yet; all he wanted was a lead.
Tom dropped two quarters into the public phone slot and dialed the second number on Davidβs cell. The call was answered on the third ring. βHi. This is David at Stapleton Plumbing and Heating in Allentown. Weβre closed now but will reopen at 8 AM. Please call back then.β
Pay dirt! Tom Delaney may be down but he wasnβt out! Heβd head back to the cabin and Google Stapleton Plumbing and Heating for an address. But first a little celebration β some pleasant company at the bar with his old friend Jim Beam.
Sipping his drink, Tom could practically smell the shakedown money heβd be raking in. As he drove home from the bar, the ubiquitous late-night fog rolled in. Tom was momentarily blinded by a pair of oncoming headlights and swerved right to avoid a collision. He turned the steering wheel sharply and his car plowed through bushes, bounced off trees, rolled over itself down the steep hill and crash-landed upside down in a ravine at the bottom of the cliff before it burst into flames.
Poor Tom. Just when things were starting to look up. Karmaβs a bitch.
A few hours later David Stapleton once again found himself in the clutches of his bedtime companion β the ever-present nightmare. He woke up drenched in sweat and bolted straight out of bed, his heart racing. He felt nauseous and dizzy. Staggering into the bathroom, he grasped the edge of the sink staring at his sweat-soaked face in the mirror.
βHow could you have been so callous leaving that cyclist? How have you been living with yourself the past four years?β This wasn’t living, he realized, knowing every day would end with the same hellish nightmare.
David stood in the bathroom and closed his eyes; he could clearly see his leather jacket wrapped around the bicycle he threw over the cliff four years ago, his phone still in the pocket, as it made its final descent into the woods β the same dream that left him screaming in the night, every night, for the past four years. βI can see it now!β he sobbed. βI can see it.β
Overcome with fear, exhaustion and remorse, David walked out the back door of his apartment above the plumbing business. Barefoot and shirtless, he was unfazed by the cold and dense fog rolling in. Blindly he went down the damp rickety steps and walked deeper in the woods behind his apartment β unseeing, uncaring.
Suddenly David felt a searing pain in his chest. Gasping for air, he clutched his arm and fell to his knees, rolling down the wet, moss-covered precipice in the woods. Ten seconds later, David Stapleton was sprawled out in the shrouded morass 30 feet below, dead from a massive heart attack.
Was it a heart attack that killed David Stapleton or overwhelming guilt? No one will ever know for sure. David never knew that with Tomβs death he was completely in the clear of any crime; the only evidence β the phone that tied him to that horrible accident β was now in the jacket pocket of Tom Delaneyβs incinerated body.
Tom and David β both dead on the same night a few miles apart β one hunting and the other haunted.
The other day I got some news that threw me for a loop; I felt like a headless chicken running βround the chicken coop.
You see, I met this awesome guy who made me lose my mind. A handsome man so witty and sexy can be awful hard to find.
We both had friends from childhood days who knew us oh so well. They figured if we two hooked up weβd get along rather well.
My friend called me and his called him and we agreed upon a date To meet at Charlieβs Ribs and Ale next Friday night at eight.
Well, I was pretty keen on the idea of meeting someone new; The last few dates I had were dull as hell and that would never do
See, Iβm the kind of girl who likes to go out and have some fun. A couple of hours with some boring dude would have me on the run.
Iβm really not high maintenance, I just need some stimulation; The kind that gets my juices flowing and speeds up my circulation.
I know you know what Iβm referring to; I can see it in your eyes. I want a man who knows whatβs what, the hows and the whens and the whys.
So, there we were at Charlieβs just waiting for our dates When in walked these two cool guys and I could barely wait.
They came straight to our table and I knew right off the bat This blue-eyed, bearded devil was a curious kind of cat.
He looked at me and I at him and our eyebrows began to rise; When we thought perhaps we knew each other almost all our lives.
Weβd no idea that this blind date would not be so blind at all For although we thought we knew each other we couldnβt quite recall.
In fact, we never took the time to even learn each otherβs names. Our paths crossed countless times before as kids playing kiddie games.
Yes, we were nameless friends in school in days from way back when. We went to games and dances, seeing each other now and then.
We attended the same college where we learned a thing or two But we never said βHey, whatβs your name? I think I may know you!β
Now here we were having loads of fun, hitting it off like two peas in a pod; But the incredible fact that we sorta knew each other was really very odd.
The night flew by, we ate and drank; this guy could talk the talk And deep inside my womanly mind I knew he could walk the walk.
So, I took a wild chance and asked him to come back to my place; He looked at me, eyes twinkling and a roguish grin upon his face.
We tried to act all nonchalant, no need to rush the night. He said he was a poet; I said βNo kidding? I like to write!β
We sat real close on my old couch and he said βTell me, whatβs your sign?β I turned to him, said βPiscesβ and he said βYeah? Thatβs the same as mine!β
He wove his fingers through my hair and slowly pulled back my head. I opened my mouth and licked my lips saying βTake me to my bed.β
We started slow, real nice and easy, just feeling each other out But it didnβt take long before both of us were doing the βTwist and Shoutβ.
This went on the whole night long; he was quite the voracious lad. I was his match and he was mine and none of it was bad.
We spent the next few days together; we got along really great. He told me his name was Kevin and I told him my name was Kate.
He said he lived in Baltimore now but was born in Kathmandu. His eyes nearly popped out his head when I said βWhat! I was too!β
Things were really getting eerie now; we both knew this was bizarre Especially when we simultaneously said βOn March 10th at Paropakar!β
Now hold on, wait just a damn minute; how could this possibly be? We were born in the same hospital on the same day in 1983!
Our piercing eyes stared at each other as we silently sipped our tea. Who was going to ask the next question? Was it me or possibly he?
I grabbed the bull by the horns and asked him βWhatβs your momβs name?β He lowered his cup rather slowly and replied βWhy, itβs Germaine.β
I heaved an enormous sigh of relief which proved to be premature Cos he was adopted, his birth mom was Faye, of that he was quite sure.
I bolted straight upright and nearly fainted as I screamed βNo way!“ For you see, I was adopted, too, and my birth momβs name was Faye!
Now this is no laughing matter, dear readers, for Iβd just had me a night like no other Who turned out to be to my shock and dismay my long-lost fraternal twin brother!
David’s decision to flee the scene was fueled by fear, self-preservation and adrenaline. An electrical storm during the night wreaked havoc with the streetlights causing them to flash at indiscriminate intervals. Even though his was the only car on the dimly lit road, the strobe effect from the lights was haphazard and dangerously distracting. There were shadows looming everywhere; David never saw the cyclist cross his path.
The impact was powerful yet made only a quiet thud like the subtle reload of a gun’s magazine. The visual impression, however, was appalling. The tableau switched to slow motion; David watched in horror as a mangled body performed a ‘danse macabre’ across the hood of his car while musical phrases from “O Fortuna” screamed in his head. The cyclist soared through the air like an acrobat and landed in a twisted heap fifty feet or so from the car.
David sat motionless in his car; no other living creature was anywhere in sight. “What to do? What to do?” raced through his mind. He’d never had a car accident, not even a parking ticket. Now he had run someone down β an innocent cyclist. Was it a man or a woman? Surely this person would be missed by family and friends, perhaps his or her parents or β God forbid β their children. What a terrible fate, a horrible accident. Yes, David had a few drinks with friends after work, just a few; the alcohol had to be out of his system by now. But wait; the cyclist wore no reflective clothing, not even a warning light on the bike’s handlebars or wheels. Out cycling in the night, alone; wasn’t that tempting fate? Maybe they got what they deserved.
Slowly David opened the door and looked around; the deafening silence was pounding in his brain, the absence of people other-worldly. With measured steps he approached the crumpled body. A gentle push of his booted foot confirmed what he already suspected: the cyclist was dead. A battered helmet sat near the edge of the road; the bright orange and black ‘KTM’ emblem of the bicycle manufacturer in Austria stared at David accusingly. The longer he looked at the emblem the more he realized he had two choices: he could report the accident to the police and face the consequences or he could clean up this mess and get on with his life.
As he walked back to his car David knew what he had to do. A look at the front end showed very little damage, a small inconvenience he could deal with later. More pressing matters prevailed; first he had to extricate the bicycle from under his car. David sat in the driver’s seat, shifted the car into reverse and gently backed up. After a couple of seconds he could feel the car and the bicycle disengage.
The bike was a wreck but there wasn’t much debris on the road. Retrieving his jacket, David wrapped it around the top tube bar and carried the bike back to the dead cyclist. Taking a few steps away from the road he realized it would be easy to throw the bike over the edge, making it look like the cyclist had swerved off the road β if the body was ever found at all. He gave the bike a hefty toss and it disappeared onto the woods below. With his foot David then rolled the cyclist’s body and helmet down the hill.
David walked back to his car and broke off a low hanging branch from a tree which he used to sweep the road clear of any pieces of glass or metal. Getting back into the car, he turned on the radio and cranked up the volume; the song was Euclid’s “On the Way”, his favorite revolutionary political heavy metal band.
“Ok” David murmured to himself. “It’s all gonna be ok. Just one last thing. Got to take care of that little dent in the hood of my car.” David kept driving until he reached a busy gas station. He drove up to a pump, intentionally smacking into a metal barrier; witnesses could attest to the mishap.
David drove home feeling much more relaxed and confident. He reached for his jacket but it wasn’t there. His face went pale and he broke out in a cold sweat. Closing his eyes he could clearly see his jacket wrapped around the bicycle, his phone still in the pocket, as it made its final descent into the woods.
On a whim my husband and I decided to ride our bicycles to Shrewsbury. The village was not far β a little over four miles. We would stop for lunch at one of the charming cafes.
It was a lovely Spring day, comfortably warm with a few wisps of clouds. Horses and cows grazed contentedly in the fields. A pond sparkled radiantly in the sunshine. Two swans performed a graceful ballet, their cygnets following closely. An elderly couple cheerfully waved at us as we rode by.
Shrewsbury appeared as we rounded a bend in the road; carefree diners were arriving for lunch. We leaned our bicycles against the fence of a nearby school and walked to a romantic-looking cafe. After a delightful meal we happily strolled to the school to retrieve our bicycles for the ride home.
This was without a doubt the most perfect day we’d ever had!
Without warning the sky started turning grey and the wind began blowing. Arriving at the school we were shocked to discover our bikes were gone; we had no choice but to walk home. Suddenly thunder and lightning crackled in the foreboding sky and heavy rain began pouring down on us. We trudged on, cursing with every step we took.
We were drenched, our shoes covered in mud. Exhausted, we argued terribly about who forgot to bring the bicycle locks. Everything turned into a total disaster and we stopped talking altogether.
This was without a doubt the worst day we’d ever had!
It all came about one day in April. Newly divorced, I had recently moved into a house in the country and was enjoying my morning coffee on the patio. Birds of many different varieties flitted about the bushes and fruit trees in the yard next door. Even a couple of deer and a few rabbits were contentedly munching on the grass. I felt like I was in the middle of a Disney movie and wouldn’t have been at all surprised if the animals started singing!
Looking around my property I couldn’t help but compare my landscaping to that of my neighbor Marjorie. Hers was overflowing with every sort of plant imaginable while mine had a paltry number of pitiful-looking bushes on the verge of death. Right then I began to envision my very own Garden of Eden; there would be shrubs and trees and flowers everywhere, even a few statues and perhaps a water feature. My yard was going to be even better than Marjorie’s!
Perhaps her ears were burning or it was just a coincidence but at that very moment Marjorie turned in my direction. Even from thirty feet away I could see her beady eyes squinting at me. A rather obese woman, she was sweating profusely as she labored in her garden, her ridiculously small bonnet providing little shade to her balloon-like face. I waved to her but she didn’t wave back; either she didn’t see me or she chose to ignore me. Marjorie wasn’t all shits and giggles. Her husband left her for another woman (no big surprise there!) and her grown children lived far away. It seemed like her only joy in life was gardening.
Being a city boy I knew nothing about gardening so I called the local nursery where one could get anything from a watering can to a majestic pine tree. One of the workers came by a few hours later and walked through the property with me, making suggestions as we went along. I told him how much I wanted to spend and gave him free reign to plant whatever he thought best β the more impressive the better.
A few days later the nursery truck arrived at my house. I caught a glimpse of Marjorie peeking through her curtains as my purchases were unloaded and carried into my yard. The landscapers got to work planting everything from small flowering shrubs to walls of bamboo. They put in a birdbath and several animal statues as well as a Japanese-inspired water feature. Before my eyes the once barren desert was now a flourishing oasis. Take that, Marjorie!
My new bountiful yard only spurred her on to do even more planting; every time she added something new, so would I. It became a childish game of retaliation.
Returning home from shopping one day I was shocked to see a police car and an ambulance outside Marjorie’s house; she had suffered a fatal heart attack while working in her garden. Well, there certainly was no love lost between us but I never wished the woman any harm. I hoped whoever moved in next door would treat Marjorie’s yard with the same tender loving care.
A few weeks later I woke up to the screeching sounds of power tools. Unable to see through my dense hedges, I walked to Marjorie’s old place; all her marvelous landscaping was being leveled to the ground! After everything was hauled away a bulldozer began digging a huge hole for a swimming pool. Week after week work continued on the pool. Occasionally I’d see two attractive women talking in the driveway, obviously the real estate agent and the new homeowner.
Finally one August day all was quiet; the pool construction was complete. I had asked my friends Charlie and Frank to come over to help me install my new 80″ flat-screen TV. Afterwards as we sat on the patio enjoying burgers and ice cold beer we became aware of the sound of splashing water and girlish laughter.
“Damn kids!” I grumbled, rolling my eyes.
Charlie nearly spit out his beer. “Don’t tell me you don’t know!”
“Know what?” I asked. I had no idea what he was talking about.
“You dumb son of a bitch!” Frank howled. “You got two super hot chicks living next door to you! You could be savoring some girl-on-girl action right now if it wasn’t for that damn bamboo curtain!”
“You mean those two women are a couple?” I asked Frank in disbelief.
“Oh yes, my friend. Very much so!” Frank replied cracking up.
Damn! I just couldn’t let old Marjorie win. Hoisted by my own petard!
Death comes suddenly to some; for others it takes a lifetime.
It was Good Friday of 1946; Kathleen O’Brien walked through a narrow cobblestone passage way to St. Brigid’s Church. She hated walking by Sully’s Bar with its overpowering stench of booze and abundance of seedy characters hanging around but she was late for services (a terrible habit) and this was a convenient shortcut. She was twenty-two years old β no longer a kid β yet she’d rather die than admit to her mother that she missed the Veneration of the Cross. It was bad enough she was late for everything.
Seeing an unfamiliar man drinking a beer and leaning against the wall outside Sully’s, Kathleen quickened her pace. She heard him chuckle and say “What’s ya hurry, toots?” She walked even faster, opening the side door of the church; it creaked loudly. The elderly priest paused in mid-sentence and made a grand gesture of looking in Kathleen’s direction; he stared at her over his glasses, giving her a withering scowl. Embarrassed, she quickly found a seat at the end of a pew next to Mrs. Callahan who huffed at having to make room for this rude latecomer.
As is the tradition on Good Friday, everyone remained after services for a period of silent prayer. It was a time to reflect and meditate, one of Kathleen’s favorite parts of Holy Week. When the ushers opened the church doors the sense of peacefulness and solemnity was instantly shattered by the loud music and drunken laughter emanating from Sully’s Bar. “Some people have no respect” thought Kathleen angrily. “An Irish pub shouldn’t even be open on Good Friday!“
As she began her walk home Kathleen noticed the same man from the bar standing at the corner. Had he been waiting for her or was this just a coincidence? Warily Kathleen took a step when suddenly the man started walking right toward her. She was taken aback as he stood in her path and extended his hand. “Name’s Harry Selkin and you’re one fine lookin’ dame. Ya need somebody like me to walk ya home. It can be dangerous for a good Catholic girl like yourself to be alone in this neck of the woods.”
“Where do you get off saying something like that to me?” Kathleen snapped. “And how do you know I’m a good Catholic girl anyway?”
“Well, I ain’t no Einstein but I seen ya practically runnin’ to St. Brigid’s like ya pants was on fire and I’m guessin‘ yaain’t no altar boy β not withthem gorgeouslegs.” Harry replied in a very ‘Bogey’ sort of way. He smiled and his tough guy persona became surprisingly charming. Kathleen found it hard not to laugh just a little at this roguish stranger and she shocked herself by allowing him to walk her home.
Harry and Kathleen were as different as a gorilla and a swan but there was an undeniable chemistry between them and they started falling in love. No one was more surprised than Kathleen; Harry was like no man she had ever met. Sure, he was rough around the edges but she loved how his face lit up like a kid whenever he ate dessert, especially his favorite β homemade apple pie. Kathleen was known for her baking skills and would make a pie for Harry every couple of days.
They had a whirlwind courtship and Harry popped the question, much to Kathleen’s delight β and her parent’s chagrin. At first they tolerated the relationship thinking it would blow over, but the more serious it got the more concerned they became. There was a major obstacle her parents couldn’t overlook β the fact that Harry was Jewish. Kathleen’s father was dead set against Harry, calling him names like ‘Christ killer’ and ‘kike’. He was enraged when Kathleen announced that she and Harry were going to get married with or without his blessing. Her mother was crushed. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Can’t you see he’s no good for you? I don’t trust him at all, Katy girl, not at all!” she warned, crying into her apron. Kathleen hated defying her parents but would not be dissuaded; she was in love! Her father said she was a blind fool and if she married “that good-for-nothing bum” she was dead to him. With a heavy heart Kathleen closed the door of her childhood home behind her and never looked back.
Harry and Kathleen got married in city hall, the judge and his clerk their only guests and witnesses. After a weekend honeymoon in Niagara Falls the couple settled into Harry’s tiny apartment β a walk-up on the fifth floor and almost within arm’s reach of the elevated train. Kathleen was startled by the scream of the locomotive but Harry said she’d get used to it.
The dilapidated condition of the apartment shocked Kathleen but she was determined to turn it into a lovely home for them. She sewed curtains and towels for the kitchen and bought bed coverings from the thrift store. She also bought sacks of apples from the fruit stand to make Harry’s beloved apple pies. She read in her cookbook that it was alright to freeze apples until you were ready to use them β a handy tip Kathleen didn’t know.
Harry worked the graveyard shift as a printer at the local newspaper, seven days a week from midnight till 8:00 AM. His fingers were permanently stained with black ink. The first morning he came home from work and saw the newly decorated apartment, he got angry at Kathleen for spending his hard-earned money on unnecessary things. Uncaring, he left ink stains on the bedspread when he sat down to remove his shoes. However his mood lightened considerably when he eyed the sacks of apples and Kathleen forgave his angry outburst when she saw that boyish grin.
While Harry slept during the day Kathleen cleaned, shopped and cooked. She wanted a vacuum cleaner but Harry said it was too expensive and the noise would keep him awake so she settled for a carpet sweeper. Their only chance to be together was at breakfast and dinner time β and of course for coffee and dessert. Kathleen suggested a few times that it would be nice if Harry worked during the day so they could be like a normal couple and spend more time together but her words fell on deaf ears.
She also longed for a baby. Each time she thought she was pregnant it turned out to be a false alarm. She saw a doctor who wasn’t very encouraging; he shrugged his shoulders, gave her ambiguous explanations and performed a couple of routine tests. He told her it was just one of those things; not all couples could get pregnant. When Kathleen finally got up the nerve to mention to Harry what the doctor said, he laughed and said it wasn’t his fault she couldn’t get pregnant; “Just ask that sweet little Frenchie I knocked up during the war” was his mean-spirited reply. Kathleen felt like she’d been kicked in the gut. When she cried that she needed something else to fill her lonely days Harry yelled to “go get a job and start earnin’ ya keep around here! Who needs another mouth to feed anyways?” Kathleen was reeling; how could he say such hurtful things? Heartbroken, she eventually gave up on having a baby and found a job as a presser in a shirt factory. The work was exhausting and she still had to maintain the apartment and cook for Harry.
What happened to the guy she married? Harry was constantly annoyed about something or other and drank more now than usual. He got mean when he drank and and Kathleen bore the brunt of his anger. When he demanded sex every night before going to work, she kept her mouth shut but she was silently screaming. This was no way to exist, like a piece of property and not a person. She’d lie awake at night remembering her mother’s warning words. The only thing in her God-forsaken life that she truly enjoyed was baking and she did it all for Harry. She would fantasize about how lovely it would be to have her own little bake shop; she’d make lots of delicious cakes and pies for her large following of loyal customers β not just for her selfish husband. She knew she could do it if she only had the chance.
A few weeks after Kathleen began working she started complaining about backaches and being very tired β probably from constantly lifting the heavy pressing machines at work. Harry, as usual, was unsympathetic and said she better toughen up because no way was she giving up that job.
One morning Kathleen asked Harry if he could bring down the mixing bowl she kept on top of the fridge so she could make an apple pie. He was tired from working all night and wanted to get to sleep but he obliged her at the prospect of dessert. Harry put down his bottle of beer and got the step-stool out of the closet. As he started to climb, Kathleen hoisted a five pound sack of frozen apples, wincing at the pain in her back, and bashed Harry as hard as she could on the back of his head. He fell backwards onto the kitchen floor, his lifeless eyes staring up at the ceiling.
Kathleen hurriedly tore open the sack of apples and dumped them into a pot on the stove. She shoved the empty apple sack into the garbage bag, bunched it all up and threw it down the incinerator chute outside their apartment door. Placing a new bag in the garbage can, she looked at Harry’s body and felt sick to her stomach, vomiting in the sink. She washed her hands and face, then placed a call to the police.
“HELP!” Kathleen screamed into the phone. “My husband fell! I think he’s dead!” Then she calmly sat at the kitchen table and waited, crying over misspent years. The police and ambulance arrived quickly; after examining Harry, he was officially declared dead. Blunt force trauma, they said, obviously from smashing his head on the kitchen floor. Everyone was very conciliatory and sympathetic and they respectfully removed Harry’s body. “If there’s anything we can do, Mrs. Selkin, please let us know” the officers said as they left Kathleen alone in the quiet apartment.
Kathleen cleaned up the kitchen and called her boss at the shirt factory to say she wouldn’t be able to work that day. Her boss barked that if she didn’t come in to work she shouldn’t bother coming back at all. Kathleen simply said “Goodbye”. She put the pot of apples in the fridge and after changing her clothes she went to the funeral parlor to make arrangements for Harry.
When she got home she received a phone call from her doctor. “Mrs. Selkin, I’m calling because your test results came back; you and Mr. Selkin will be thrilled to know you’re pregnant. Congratulations, Mrs. Selkin!” Kathleen swayed in stunned disbelief and grabbed onto the edge of the table. She managed a weak “Thank you” and hung up the phone. “Pregnant” she whispered in awe and her slight smile slowly grew into a broad grin. She gently touched her belly, truly happy for the first time in years.
The next morning Kathleen baked a large apple pie with the same apples she used to bash in Harry’s head. When the pie was done and still warm, she placed it in a box and delivered it to the nice policemen. On the way home she stopped in the little bakery near her apartment and inquired about a job. It was a start, a new beginning for her and her baby.
Why do you continue to invade my dreams in the stillness of the morningβs early hours? I awaken and for a moment I believe the dream to be true. The feel of your smooth yielding body next to mine, the tenderness of your kiss. I reach for you but you are not there and a tear slowly emerges from the corner of my eye.
Somehow I manage to get through the disorder that is my life but without you I am not truly alive; I merely exist. You asked so little of me and brought unimaginable joy to my lonely world. How I loved treating you like royalty; you were my princess dressed in satin and lace, your shining blue eyes sparkling with excitement whenever I brought home a gift for you. You delighted in each present, whether a bottle of perfume or a book of poems which I would read to you every night.
Yet, in all honesty, those steamy sensual sex games we played are what I miss the most. You were insatiable, your beautiful mouth smiling with desire, your lithe body as malleable and compliant as the branches of a willow tree. Those intimate times we shared together in our apartment are etched in my mind forever.
Leaving you in the morning to go to work was torture. Knowing youβd be there waiting for me when I returned was the only thing that got me through the day. Iβd race home to see you, to embrace you. But that all ended one year ago when I found you lifeless on our bed. You were so beautiful that morning as you slept I didnβt have the heart to wake you. I placed a single rose on your breast for you to discover when you awoke and quietly closed the door behind me. Oh, the dreadful nightmares constantly invade my sleep! How could I have left you alone like that? Iβm sorry, my darling Hope.
Today I walked to the park. When I realized it was our anniversary all the air left my body and I felt empty inside. The children in the park were playing with kites and balloons, laughing with glee as the wind lifted their playthings higher and higher. Suddenly one of the little girls cried out in dismay as the string escaped her hand and her balloon slowly floated out of sight. The poor child was inconsolable. I thought of you and called your name. The little girlβs mother bought her a new balloon and gently tied the string around her daughterβs wrist; she ran off laughing, carefree once again.
Thatβs when I realized I had two choices: continue living the life of a lonely, broken man or find someone to share my life. That, my darling Hope, is when I chose the latter. I truly believe you would want me to find happiness again, to fill this void in my wretched life.
I slowly walked home, retrieved my mail and sat on the couch, dejected. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the tip of a familiar publication. Could it be? On our anniversary? Yes, it wasβ Johnson Premium Dolls with a large banner advertising 40% off discontinued sex dolls. With trembling fingers I flipped through the pages until I found you, my dearest Hope. I was overcome with joy and placed my order immediately.
Tomorrow I will insert this letter into a balloon, inflate it and release it to reach you in heaven. And never again will I buy you even one thorny rose.
Alexander was furious when Constance chose to attend Boston College over Harvard. While there she caught the eye of Tom Stewart, a nice guy from a middle class family but Tom kept his distance thinking Constance was a spoiled rich girl. Constance proved Tom wrong when she asked him out for coffee and surprised him when she said he should call her Connie instead of βthat pretentious-sounding Constanceβ.
Tom and Connie fell in love, became teachers and got married. The idealistic young couple were determined to make it on their own and refused any money from her parents. Connieβs father angrily renounced her but her mother insisted The Mayflower tradition be continued and passed the painting on to the couple. Tom and Connie reluctantly accepted and chose to hang it on the rear wall of the den where it wasnβt quite so obvious. Connie knew they really didnβt need the extravagant painting and all it was worth; she had been secretly saving money every month for whatever unforeseen circumstance might come their way. Their rebellious eighteen year old daughter Ivy disapproved of the ostentatious painting βand all it representedβ. She preferred to hide herself away in her room listening to The Concert for Bangladesh.
Ivy was working as a barista atΒ StarbucksΒ when she met Will Connors, an aspiring musician. They started dating and one night at dinner she announced to her parents that she wasnβt interested in going to college and planned to move in with Will. Tom asked how she intended to survive on a baristaβs salary. Ivy shrugged and replied βweβll manageβ. Tom and Connie knew trying to dissuade Ivy would only make matters worse so they begrudgingly gave their blessing.
The following month Ivy moved into Willβs tiny studio apartment and Connie happily presented them with The Mayflower. Ivy was furious but Connie pleaded with her to accept it as a housewarming gift. βChange the frame to a plain one but please take itβ Connie said. Ivy put the painting in a closet where it stayed for a few months. Finally she decided it was hers to do with as she wished and tossed it in a garbage dumpster.
Little did Ivy know that Connie had removed the rear panel of the frame and meticulously replaced it after taping an envelope to the back of the painting containing all the money she had saved β one hundred crisp $100 bills β meant to help the struggling couple. Maybe Ivy should have changed the frame after all.
βPapers! Not one, not two but three papers all due on Monday!β exclaimed Charlie in exasperation. βOne on the assassination of JFK, another on the Scopes Trial and…..β
βLet me guessβ interrupted Charlieβs sister Erica. βA 1,000 word book report on βTo Kill a Mockingbirdβ.β
βHow could you possibly know that?!β questioned a puzzled Charlie. βYou must be psychic!β
Erica laughed. βHardly! Mr. Cavanaugh hasnβt changed his assignments in years. I bet he still says the same thing.β
Brother and sister looked at each other trying not to laugh as they simultaneously did their best Mr. Cavanaugh impersonations β βRemember class, the quantity of your work is second only to the quality!β
Erica and Charlie cracked up laughing.
βWell, kiddo, good thing our folks are at the cabin this weekend and Iβm going to Six Flags with Kate. You’ll have plenty of peace and quiet to get all your work done. Good luck, bro!β Erica laughed as she waved goodbye to Charlie.
βIβm gonna need it!” he groaned. “My grades havenβt been very good lately.”
Charlie went to the den where he and Erica always did their homework. First he read his emails, then went on Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Bored, Charlie started looking through the drawers of the desk. There were recipes, catalogs, magazines and at the bottom of the pile was a binder marked “My Junior Year” in Erica’s handwriting.
βHmm … I wonder?β Charlie asked himself. He looked through Erica’s binder and found a tab that read ‘ESSAYS‘.
βSweet!β Charlie exclaimed. βLetβs see what we have here.β
With anticipation he ran his finger down the list of Ericaβs essays, his eyes almost bugging out of his head when he spotted βJFK Assassinationβ. Further down the list he found βThe Scopes Trialβ.
βThis is too good to be true!β Charlie exclaimed. βTwo out of the three essays I need are here! I’m sure Ericaβs book reports are here, too … fingers crossed.β
Sure enough Charlie found another label which read βBOOK REPORTSβ. Pouring over the titles, he shouted βBingo! There you are! βTo Kill A Mockingbirdβ. Three for three!β This was an incredible find. Charlie wondered if Erica even remembered her binder was there.
Taking all three of Erica’s assignments, Charlie sat at the computer station where he scanned and forwarded all the papers to himself. He then changed the dates, margins and fonts so his work wouldnβt look identical to Ericaβs. Finally, changing her name to his, he printed out the papers, returned the originals to the binder and shoved it back under the pile.Β
βDone!β he crowed, feeling quite pleased with himself. “And I didn’t have to do any work!“
Charlie spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with his friends and watching movies on Netflix. On Monday he confidently turned in his assignments. On Friday Mr. Cavanaugh handed Charlie a large folder. To his shock inside were his reports as well as copies of Ericaβs reports. All Ericaβs papers were marked with a big red βFβ; his were marked βCFβ.
βObviously you had no idea that I save all my students work. You also did not know that Erica failed her assignments” Mr. Cavanaugh reprimanded Charlie. “By copying her work you not only cheated, you failed. Therefore, I’ve given you the grade of ‘CF’ β βCβ for βCheatingβ and βFβ for βFailβ. Your parents have already been informed of this. I hope you have learned your lesson β the lazy student will cheat and malinger and by doing so will always fail.β
Charlie felt sick to his stomach; he never saw this coming. How could he have been so stupid? He didn’t notice that none of Erica’s papers were graded; they were just copies of her work and not the actual reports she handed in. Charlie knew his parents were going to be furious with him. It was bad enough that Erica failed; he cheated and failed.
βNo point in putting off the inevitable any longer. Time to go home and face the consequences” Charlie thought as he dejectedly walked out of the classroom.
Mr. Cavanaugh shook his head. “There’s one every year.When will they ever learn?”
βGrundy, you old son of a bitch! What the hell are you doing here?β exclaimed Ian Simms.
βSame as you, Ian, and your brother, Carter. Attending the reading of your fatherβs will. May he rest in peace.
βCarter, look whoβs here!β declared Ian to his twin. βItβs the one and only Grundy!β
βItβs been a while, Grundy. I canβt even recall the last time I saw youβ remarked Carter.
βI believe it was your sixteenth birthday β the day before your mother deserted your father and shipped both of you off to military school.β
βYou know, Grundy, there was a time when you showed a bit more respect to me and my brother. You used to call me βMaster Carterβ and my brother βMaster Ianβ β back when you were my fatherβs lowly valet.β
βYes indeed β when you behaved like the spoiled crowned princes of Palm Springs. Iβd say weβre on equal footing now, Carter.β
βWatch your mouth, old manβ snarled Carter. βRemember you were just a servant!β
βWere being the operative word. Hereβs your fatherβs attorney now. Letβs get on with this, shall we?β
βGood afternoon, everyone. Please be seated. Iβm Lester Garrison, Mr. Simmsβ attorney, and weβre gathered here today for the reading of his will. All right then, letβs begin.β Garrison cleared his throat:
β’ βI, Franklin Theodore Simms, being of sound mind and body declare this to be my last will and testament.
β’ To my former wife, Gloria Morrow Simms, I leave a dildo so she can go fuck herself. Iβm sure she didnβt have the decency to attend today but there was never anything decent about her.
β’ To my sons Carter and Ian I leave both the amount of $19.79 which represents the year you were born. Perhaps if you had bothered to call or visit me just one time in the past 24 years the amount would be substantially higher; however that is not the case. You reap what you sow, boys.
β’ To the San Diego Zoo I leave $2.5 million dollars because animals are infinitely nicer than humans.
β’ The remainder of my estate, all my worldly possessions and $18.5 million dollars I leave to my one true friend – Samuel Grundy. Sam, you were never just my valet; you were my brother. You were the only one who remained when my family abandoned me. And when I became sick, you cared for me, refusing any income. We spent many hours in the garden by the weeping willow tree playing chess, sharing memories, baring our souls.
β’ A note to my sons: if you hadnβt been so self-centered you would have known Mr. Grundyβs first name. Instead you treated him like chattel and called him simply βGrundyβ. Shame on you both!
β’ My lawyer already knows that I donβt want a funeral. Iβm to be cremated and my ashes buried under the old willow tree where I spent my final days with Samuel Grundy.
β’ See you at the tree, Sam. The rest of you ingrates can go to hell.β
I guessed that something was wrong as soon as I saw the look of shocked disbelief on my husband Davidβs face.
βBabe, whatβs wrong?β
With tears in his eyes David whispered βI lost my wedding ring!β
It was our last night in Cape Cod. After dinner we went for a walk on the beach. There was a lot of seaweed in the ocean from a storm a few days before. We walked along the shore, teasing each other with clumps of seaweed; thatβs when the ring must have slipped off his finger. But exactly where we had no idea. We crawled around searching but it was dark and we couldnβt see anything. David was devastated.
βHon, I know your wedding ring means the world to you but we can always replace it.β
βI know, Jess, but it just wonβt be the same.β
Dejected, we returned to our room and went to bed. After hours of trying to get to sleep, I grabbed my laptop and Googled βWill a ring wash ashore after falling in the ocean?β
Almost immediately there was a *ding* on my laptop … a response from βTheRingFinders.comβ. It read: βWe can help find any lost metallic object on the beach or in the water. Enter your zip code and weβll get back to you ASAP .β
I entered the zip code for Cape Cod and 10 minutes later I heard from Rick at βRingFindersβ. After explaining our situation, Rick said heβd be at our B&B at 7:00 AM to start his search. Thank God for the Internet!
True to his word, Rick was already on the beach at 7:00. We ate breakfast on the veranda, never taking our eyes off Rick as he searched everywhere with no luck. It was almost checkout time when he trudged up to the B&B.
βNo luck, folks. Youβre gonna get socked in traffic if you donβt leave now. Iβm sorry to disappoint you but Iβm not giving up. Iβll keep in touch with you either way.β
Disheartened, we checked out and loaded up the car. Taking one last look at Rick, we waved goodbye when we realized he wasnβt waving goodbye … he was waving in excitement. He ran up the beach with his arm in the air, hand clenched in a fist.
βI found it, folks! I found your ringβ he shouted.
We ran to meet him and he grinned as he placed a wet, sandy ring in Davidβs hand.
Thering was under 11 inches of water and seaweed!
Overjoyed, David hugged Rick and we asked how much we owed him.
βThis is a free service we provide but we gladly accept donationsβ Rick explained. βIts very rewarding to see the joy on peopleβs faces when theyβre reunited with their precious lost items.β
I donβt remember how much we gave Rick … thatβs not important. What I do remember is David glancing at his ring all the way home and smiling.
What an experience and certainly an incredible act of kindness. Thanks, Rick!
Authors Note: Every word of this story is true and Theringfinders.com is a real organization. Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction!
βInstantly IrresistibleβΒ read the label on the perfume bottle at a shop in Bangkok. I was, shall we say, drawn here after several misunderstandings with the Sydney Police Department. I called it βgaining a profitβ; they called it βpickpocketingβ.
Contrary to the Sydney Police, my parents and my friends, Iβm not a complete loser β just a partial one. I worked in a book store back home but got canned when I βborrowedβ a few dollars from the register. The shop owner called the police on me, even though βhe really liked me and hated doing itβ . Then there was the βincidentβ which brought me here.
Now Iβm washing dishes for a restaurant, just barely getting by. The waitresses, all sisters, live together downstairs in a shoebox of an apartment near the supply room. I sleep on a cot in the basement and use the grungy bathroom β better than nothing. Thereβs a basement window which I crawl through when I get home late and the restaurant is closed. Only the owner and the eldest sister have a key.
Sometimes when the sisters are working Iβll go downstairs for supplies, take a small detour into that shoebox and help myself to their tip money. Iβm wondering β can I be considered a βhousebreakerβ if the door isnβt locked?
I have a clandestine girlfriend, too. Sheβs a cleaner at the tailor shop nearby. I saw her through the shop window and she looked up and smiled. One dark night after work I waited for her outside the shop and asked if I could walk her home. She agreed but said only half way β her family would not approve. She lives with her parents and 11 siblings. All of what she earns goes to her family. She owns only a few clothes and a ragged cloth pouch. I surprised her with a bottle of perfume which I found in a moldy wood crate behind the shop. She smiled happily and slipped it into her pouch. Her name is βPitiβ and she calls me βSamβ which isnβt even my name but thatβs ok. No one knows I exist.
After dark the next night I waited for Piti but she never showed. Disappointed, I skulked home. The same thing happened the next two nights and on the fourth day during my break I glanced in the tailor shop window only to see a different cleaning girl. βWhere was Piti?β I wondered, becoming concerned.
Several days later I overheard the sisters talking. Piti had become deathly sick β an apparent toxic reaction to old perfume from a bottle found in her pouch. She had been in quarantine, but died this morning.
I was reeling. I did this to Piti. I killed her! She was a perfect angel, the sweetest part of my life. Everything I do hurts someone. In the course of three weeks Iβve gone from petty thief to murderer. Everyone is right. Iβm a complete loser. I donβt know how Iβm going to live with myself.
I had been making eye contact all night with the ridiculously gorgeous bartender at my Christmas party so I was pleased to see her lingering behind after the last guest left. I was captivated by this amazing looking creature. Lustrous dark hair framed her perfect face and caressed her shoulders. Her skin was radiant with a glowing tan and her lips were full, revealing sparkling teeth when she smiled. But the most striking feature was her eyes β piercing crystal blue.
This was my first Christmas party since my divorce. My ex got our Manhattan apartment and I got our Miami condo. Truthfully, I much prefer Christmas in NY; Miamiβs just too damn hot.
I made sure everything was perfect β the food, the booze, the waitstaff and, of course, the bartender. She worked independently and was highly recommended by my friend. I could see why. I knew nothing but her first name β Alexandra.
So now here it was around 2:00 AM; Alexandra and I were alone, the guests and hired help long gone. Sipping my drink, I looked out the open window at the twinkling Christmas lights on the street below while Alexandra finished up at the bar.
βJoin me for a nightcap?β I asked.
She smiled, poured herself a Smirnoff peppermint vodka and joined me at the window. We stood in silence watching the lights in the distance, the seductive Miami air washing over us. Her hair smelled of gardenias and I impulsively reached out to caress the silken tresses. She leaned into me and I buried my face in her hair, inhaling the intoxicating aroma.
She turned to me and I cupped her face in my hands, rubbing my thumb slowly across her parted lips. I kissed her deeply, delighting in the sweet taste of peppermint. We silently stared into each otherβs eyes as she took a step backwards. Slowly she slid her fingers under the straps of her dress. I watched mesmerized as the shimmering fabric slid to the floor like a wounded butterfly.
She stood motionless, the amber light from the bar casting provocative shadows across her body. She was exquisite. Stepping over her discarded dress, Alexandra slowly walked toward me. I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to the sofa. She was delicious, insatiable … like nothing I’d ever experienced.Β
It had been a busy night at my bar and I was cleaning up after the last guest left. It was Christmas Eve and most people headed out a little early to get home or do last-minute shopping. I locked up, turned off the lights and went upstairs to the apartment I shared with my wife Nicole and our little girl Mariah.
It was quiet in our apartment but I could see a dim light coming from Mariahβs room. I peeked in to see my girls saying their evening prayers. My daughterβs sweet voice was hushed but I heard her say βAnd God, please tell Santa the only thing I really want for Christmas is a kittyβ.
I sat in the living room staring at the Christmas tree. Nicole came in and sat beside me. βYou heard?β I nodded and said βYou know, Nic, sheβs such a good girl, never asks us for anything. I have to see if I can find her a kitten.β
βAt this hour, Kevin? Where are you going to go?β
βHonestly Nic, I have no idea β but I have to try.β
Every place I tried was either closed or sold out of kittens and puppies. Even the humane society and animal shelters had no kittens. I drove up to Westchester and down to Brooklyn with no luck. Time was running out and I was getting more and more depressed with every passing minute. I just wanted to make Mariah happy; disappointing my little girl on Christmas was not an option.
As I was heading back home, Nicole called. βKevin, did you have any luck?β
βNo luck, Nic. Iβm tired, Iβm frustrated and Iβm really bummed out. Iβm gonna stop for a quick cup of coffee and Iβll be home in a few. Love ya.β
I pulled into a 24-hour Dunkin Donuts and ordered a coffee while the store ownerβs cat rubbed up against my leg. βAdding insult to injuryβ I thought. At this God-forsaken hour the store was empty. I asked to use their restroom and as I walked to the back of the shop, I noticed a box in the corner. Normally a box wouldnβt interest me but this box was whimpering. I gently flipped up the top and to my amazement saw four kittens in the box. Forgetting my need to use the restroom, I raced back out front, startling the owner.
βSir, Iβve been driving all night looking to buy a kitten for my daughter for Christmas. Please, Iβm begging you! Can I possibly buy one of your kittens?β
The owner looked at me and said βAw, no man. Theyβre not for sale.”
I stared at him blankly, not knowing what to say. I was exhausted and frustrating and finding a box full of kittens was a miracle. At this point I did’t care about my pride β all that mattered was Mariah β and I was willing to beg. I slowly got down on one knee.
The store owner looked shocked and even a little embarrassed. “Aw, come on man! What are you doing?” he asked incredulously. “Get up off the floor. I already told you I can’t sell you a kitten.”
I stood, looking him square in the eye. “I know, sir, but it’s my little girl. She β¦ ” and he cut me off in mid sentence.
“I can’t sell you one” he repeated emphatically. “But Iβll gladly give you one for your kid.β
I swear to God, I could have kissed him. Grinning like an idiot, I grabbed him by the shoulders. “Bless you, sir. Merry Christmas!”
“Sit down and drink your coffee” he said as he shuffled off to the back of the store humming “Jingle Bells”.
Christmas morning Mariah excitedly ran into the kitchen and saw the mugs of hot cocoa and theΒ Dunkin Donuts MunchkinsΒ box on the table. βYay, Christmas Munchkins!βΒ she squealed as she reached for the box, her big green eyes opening wide when she saw the tiny kitty staring back at her.Β
βIt is raining againβ Rachel thought woefully as she looked out the window of the Manhattan apartment she shared with her boyfriend Jeff. βAnd the weather forecast is for rain all week and into the holiday weekend!β She and Jeff talked about getting away for a few days, maybe to Washington DC or to Boston but the weather all along the east coast looked bad. Labor Day weekend was just a few days away and it would be great to escape this incessant rain.
βIt is raining like crazy!βexclaimed Jeff as he entered the apartment. βIβm soaked, hon. Toss me a towel, would ya? Weβve been talking about getting away for Labor Day. Why donβt you check the computer for vacation spots while I get changed? Iβll be back in a sec.β
βIt is raining everywhereβ whined Rachel as Jeff returned to the living room. βI thought about going to The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame or Disney World but theyβre having rain, too.β All evening they checked out various places, with no luck. They were about to give up when Jeff shouted βWhoa, babe! Look what I found on Expedia .. two round trip tickets to Cabo San Lucas for $296 per person and only $200 for the hotel! AND NO RAIN IN SIGHT!! Letβs go for it!β Rachel threw her arms around Jeffβs neck shrieking βCabo! Swimming! Mojitos! SUNSHINE! HELL YEAH!!β
Out of the blue the call arrived. It was late and I was beyond tired. We were tempted to let it go straight to voice mail, but Gary thought it might be important.Β
“Gary? It’s Alice from the adoption agency. Fabulous news! We have a baby for you and Carol. Can you come by in the morning?”.
Gary jumped up. “My God!Are you sure?” Completely convinced that something terrible had happened, I grabbed the phone. “This is Carol Wheeler. Who’s this, please?”
Not bad news. Just the opposite β¦ elating, top of the world, Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds news!
ALICE FOUND US A BABY!!!
“Yes!! We’ll be there! Thank you so much” I sputtered.
Dumbstruck, we stood there β¦ then pandemonium erupted. Laughing, crying, hugging, kissing, dancing like lunatics. We didnβt think β¦ or even care β¦ to ask “boy, girl, age”? After eight years of trying to get pregnant and failing miserably, some loving stranger was presenting us with the most precious gift imaginable.
Collapsing onto the couch, we talked about the past eight years β¦ the failed attempts β¦ heartbreaking losses β¦ the baby things we collected over the years, now hiding in the attic.
“Gary, do you realize tomorrow we will be a family of three?”
TOMORROW!!
All tiredness forgotten, we raced to the attic for the plastic bins of assorted baby items. There in the corner sat the bassinet, glowing in the darkness – a mystical aura the likes of which I’d never seen before. I believe at that moment I heard angels singing. We reverently carried it down to our room. I leaned into Gary, overcome with elated exhaustion.
And then the phone rang β¦ again. We stared at it, afraid to answer, convinced it was Alice calling to say the baby’s mom had changed her mind, there would be no happy family for us.
I reached for the phone and wearily, warily said “Yes?”.
“Carol? It’s Dr. Shaw. Sorry to call so late but your tests results are back. The reason youβve been so exhausted lately? You’re three months pregnant β¦ with twins β¦ and everything looks great!”
Stunned, crying, all I could manage was a hushed “My God. Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. Congratulations!”
Gary held me closely and whispered “Shh. Another baby will come along.”
I giggled. “You’re so right. That was Dr. Shaw. I’M PREGNANT β¦ WITH TWINS!! We’re gonna be a family of FIVE!”
The Elephant's Trunk 