βAre you coming or not?β Carl demanded as he took a few steps further into the haunted house at the Springwood Halloween Fair.
Sharon stood there fiddling with the drawstring of her hoodie. She chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes wide and brimming with tears.
βIβm really scared of these places, Carl. I mean, they terrify me. I donβt want to do this.β And the tears came.
This was nothing new to Carl; Sharon hid behind her hands when she tried to watch βThe Walking Deadβ with him in the comfort of their own living room. He rolled his eyes, tired of Sharonβs childish fears of creatures that donβt exist.
βLook, babe, as I told you a dozen times already, everybody knows this is the best haunted house in the countyβ Carl replied in his usual condescending tone. βMy friends at work said it was awesome and even Hal brought is girlfriend Darleen whoβs afraid of her own shadow and she thought it was fabulous. I promise, itβs gonna be a blast.β
Sharon could hear screams coming from inside the haunted house but everyone came out laughing and quickly lined up to go in again.
βOK, Iβll do it but you have to promise to take me to see the Taylor Swift concert on the big IMAX screen next week.β
Carl happily agreed knowing there was no way in hell he was going to sit through a Taylor Swift concert. Laughing, he grabbed Sharonβs hand and pulled her into the haunted house.
βDonβt let go of my hand, Carl!β Sharon cried out.
βSharon, just chill out. Why canβt you get it through your head that itβs all fake, itβs just for show and none of these characters are real? I promise I won’t let go of your hand. Now stop being a drama queen and try to have some harmless fun, ok?β Carl could really be a nasty SOB.
The inside of the haunted house was complete sensory overload; there was constant screaming as zombies, vampires, witches, skeletons, ghosts and hideous slasher movie characters jumped out of doorways, flew into windows, dropped down from the ceiling and popped up through the floor.
The place was madness and Sharon was getting claustrophobic. The only thing that kept her from running out in a panic was the familiar feel of Carlβs hand in hers. She couldnβt see an inch in front of her and there was something popping out at every turn. It was horrifying for Sharon.
Before Sharon knew what was happening, the grotesque image of Freddy Krueger suddenly appeared from behind a wall of smoke and menacingly brandished his deadly bladed glove; Sharon couldnβt take it any longer. She screamed out for Carl and pushed her way through the crowd, grateful that he was still with her.
Once outside, Sharon gulped in the fresh air and blasted Carl. βThat was the worst experience of my life! It was terrifying and you tricked me. How could you?? Iβm not kidding, Carl. Iβm really pissed! Carl!! Are you even listening to me, dammit?β
And when Sharon turned to face Carl, she discovered she had been holding on to his severed arm. The next morning Carlβs body was found in the woods behind the haunted house. He had been sliced to pieces. They say karmaβs a bitch.
At least Carl was true to Sharon about one thing that night; he never let go of her hand.
NAR Β© 2023
This is “Freddy Krueger Sings A Song” (Scary Horror Halloween Parody)
The Elephant's Trunk 