Sorry, My Bad

Written for Muse On Monday. We are asked
 to write a story in the form of an email.

Subject: hey, can we talk about Saturday

Alex,

I know you probably don’t want to hear from me, but you left your blue jacket at my place and I don’t know what to do with it. Also …. you were kind of a jerk at Lynne’s party. Just putting that out there.

Me

Subject: Re: hey, can we talk about Saturday

Wow. Okay. I wasn’t even AT Lynne’s party, but sure, tell me more about how big a jerk I am. This should be good.

— Alex

Subject: Re: Re: hey, can we talk about Saturday

Ha ha. Very funny. You disappeared for two hours and came back smelling like someone else’s perfume, so forgive me for not laughing along.

Can you please just come get the jacket?

Me

Subject: Re: Re: Re: hey, can we talk about Saturday

I don’t have a jacket at your place. I don’t have a “your place.” I think you might be emailing the wrong Alex. I’m a systems analyst in Cincinnati and the last party I went to was my nephew’s christening.

But for what it’s worth: whoever this guy is, he sounds like a genuine idiot, and I hope the jacket has a stain on it.

— Alex (the wrong one, apparently)

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: hey, can we talk about Saturday

OMG! I’m so sorry. I’ve been emailing a stranger my entire breakup for the past two hours.

I don’t even know how to apologize for this.

Me

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: hey, can we talk about Saturday

Honestly? Don’t. This is the most interesting my inbox has been in a year. I was rooting for you against a man I’ve never met and don’t like very much.

For the record …. keep the jacket. Cut a sleeve off. Frame it. Burn it. Whatever helps.

— Alex

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: hey, can we talk about Saturday

I threw it away this morning, actually. Felt good.

Thank you for listening. Or …. reading. Whatever this was.

It’s refreshing to know that some people still reply to strangers this kindly.

And you’re really not wrong-Alex. You sound just right to me.

Stephanie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: hey, can we talk about Saturday

No worries. But you’re welcome, wrong-number stranger.

Good luck out there. Block his number. Buy yourself a new jacket. In that order.

BTW you sound just right to me too, Stephanie.

— Alex

NAR©2026

This is “Checking My Email” by Mark Ferrari

Muse on Monday – July 27, 2026

^{Everything on The Elephant’s Trunk was created by me, unless otherwise indicated. Thanks for your consideration. NAR©2017-present.}