So This Is Christmas

This week at Writing Prompts, Esther has teased us
with the word ‘Christmas’. Here are some happy
childhood memories from a piece I wrote in 2018.
This is my 2024 version of “So This Is Christmas”.

Yay! Daddy’s bringing down the boxes of Christmas stuff from the attic! There’s a bunch of plastic tubs with a million trillion ornaments in them and another ginormous box with the tree inside. Daddy’s saying bad words coz the box is heavy; he said he’s tired of busting his hump. I never saw a hump anywhere on my Daddy. Mommy keeps slapping his arm and telling him to be quiet and stop talking like that coz little walls have big ears. What the heck does that even mean?? Whatever it is, I don’t like it! It’s giving me the willies!

Mommy says we gotta put up the tree and cook all this stinky fish for dinner before going to church. Yuck! I wanna have pizza but she said no coz fish on Christmas Eve is the Sicilian trabition. I don’t know what that is either coz nobody tells me anything seeing as how I’m just a kid.

Oh no! The tree is broken in a hundred pieces! Why can’t we have a real tree like my friend Susie? Her family cuts down their tree every year and I think it smells really nice …. just like the forest. Mommy says real trees are a waste of money. They’re sticky, and drip sappy stuff and pine needles all over her white rug.

Whew! Daddy says it’s ok …. the tree isn’t broken. It comes in pieces like a puzzle and we gotta put it together. Now Daddy’s complaining about the tree being a pain in his backside (but he didn’t use the word backside) and Mommy’s eyes are bugging outta her head! I’m gonna go watch Felix the Cat. I don’t wanna put the tree together. There’s too much yelling going on. I just wanna hang ornaments and hold tinsel against the hot lights until it melts and snaps in half. Now that’s really cool!  

Oh, Daddy’s calling me. WOW! The tree is up and all covered with lights and it’s time to hang the ornaments! Mommy’s got this one special box that nobody’s allowed to touch coz it’s got all these old baby ornaments inside and they always make Mommy cry. I don’t know what’s so special about them. I’ve got a Gumby & Pokey ornament. Now THAT’S special! I gotta use the stepstool to reach the higher branches. Mommy says I better not fall in the tree like I did last year. Boy, did she get mad! Finally it’s time for the angel and Daddy lifts me way up high to reach the tippy top. She’s the most beautiful angel I’ve ever seen and I just wanna stare at her all night. 

Ding Dong! Yay! Grammy and Grampy are here! Grampy says the fish smells delicious. Pee yew! Is he kidding or what?!? He’s old and must have lost is sense of smell. I’m not gonna eat it. I’m just gonna have some pisgetti. After dinner Mommy says we gotta get dressed for church. I don’t wanna go but Grammy says it’ll be sinning if we don’t go and then Santa won’t come. Well, that got me really upset and right away Grampy said Grammy’s just teasing me and Santa’s gonna come whether we go to church or not. I sure wish grownups would get their stories straight and not say so many stupid things! I’m gonna remember not to be stupid when I grow up. 

Oh man! We’re late and now there’s no place to park at church! Daddy’s saying more bad words and Mommy’s slapping his arm again. FINALLY we park and go inside. WHOA!! It’s so pretty inside! So many candles and twinkly lights, like a fairy tale. And there must be a zillion people here! Grampy said they’re all a bunch of phony baloneys. Boy, Grammy gave him a really big punch on the arm for that! I bet he’s gonna have a swell black & blue mark! We squeeze onto a bench and I snuggle into Mommy’s fur coat. It’s so soft and warm. I just wanna go to sleep. Maybe I can nap for just a little while coz Santa’s coming tonight and I’m gonna stay up all night and wait for him. 

Woohoo! I did it! I stayed up all ni….. 

Wait a minute! How’d I get in my jammies? And I’m not in church any more .… I’m in bed! It’s Christmas morning and I missed Santa! I fly down the stairs coz I can smell the bacon and pancakes that Mommy’s making. Yay!! Santa came! Santa came! Look at all the presents! Mommy says breakfast first, then we can open the presents.

Jeez! Grownups and their stupid rules!

NAR©2024

This is “So This Is Christmas” by John Lennon

Writing Prompts

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