It was a beautiful Saturday morning when my son Tom called.

“Dad, Allie’s gone into early labor! We need you to stay with Molly.” He sounded excited and nervous.

I’m on my way!” I immediately answered.

As soon as I arrived Tom and Allie left for the hospital.

Grampy, can we go to the school fair?” Molly asked. “Daddy was gonna take me today.”

Sure, pumpkin. Let’s go!” I replied – anything to help pass the time.

The playground of Molly’s school, St. Cecilia’s Elementary for Girls, had been magically transformed into a carnival with food stands, games of chance and a giant inflated pirate ship.

Look, Grampy! A bouncy ship!” Molly tugged at my sleeve. “Can I go on, please?”

“You bet, honey! Looks like fun!” I gave my granddaughter a boost. I was half in and half out when the ship started bouncing, taking me for a ride I’ll not soon forget!

Well, a bouncy anything is no place for a 60-year-old man and 20 little girls. They were rolling all over me and every time the damn thing came to a stop, I tried getting out but kept losing my balance.

Then, just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, the pirate ship was surrounded by police. One cop with a megaphone shouted “Sir, this ride is for children only. You’re in serious trouble. Come out now or we’ll come in and drag you out!”

I finally managed to crawl my way out. My clothes were in total disarray, little girls were crying and I heard someone yell “You sick bastard!”

Arr! I made the news that night. My fifteen minutes of fame!

NAR © 2023

I have a new post up today
at the Rhythm Section for
In The Groove.
Why not stop by and
check it out?

25 thoughts on “ARR, MATEY!”

  1. Imagine that if a bearded young man* let’s say about 33 years old, sandals and all the shenanigans was to sit near that park, at the shadow of an olive tree and say “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them…” he would end in no time in a streamed-live public humiliation before metaphorically crucified.

    *forgive my allegory, remnant of Passover celebrated and to be celebrated.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Quite the analogy picture you’ve painted for us! And these days that’s exactly what would happen.
      I remember when my two oldest grand kids were much younger, we took them to one of those indoor play areas at the mall. Like most doting grandmothers, I took out my phone to snap a few photos of the kids. I was immediately confronted by a security guard who informed me that photo taking was not allowed. I tried to assure him that I was taking pix of only MY grands and no other kids but he was adamant. While the guard watched, I had to delete any photos I had taken. Sadly, the reasoning is very clear and I would go to any lengths to protect my grandchildren from predators; it’s just a shame that’s the way of the world.
      Great comment, Nick.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anything that starts off with “it was a beautiful day“ is bound to finish in disaster. 😂 Same goes for movies, where a couple make plans for the future, starting a family, or buying a house, or that sort of thing, one of them is bound to end up dead. I’m just glad that Molly‘s grandpa survived to tell the tale.

    Liked by 1 person

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