Where am I? What’s happening? I thought I heard screams in the night. Could I have been dreaming?
I’m supposed to be sleeping, waiting for the Spring, but I’m not and it’s too soon to be feeling so warm. My lower extremities are aching as though someone as been tugging on them, but I’m not in pain. Some of my friends have suffered excruciating agony. One day we were together and the next day they were gone; I never saw them again.
My limbs feel a little heavy; am I carrying objects in my outstretched arms? There’s a slight pressure on my head – not terribly heavy but a feeling I am unaccustomed to, like a crown. I can hear faint voices now. It’s hard to make out full sentences but the words sound like “looks beautiful” and “brilliant idea”. What does it all mean? What is a brilliant idea?
I have no clue how much time has passed; I think only a week or so but I have lost all track of time and I’m very tired. I need to sleep.
What is going on now? It feels like I’m being lifted and carried away; I’m afraid. What’s happening to me? I feel like some pressure is being taken off me and I’m being lowered into a hole. I can sense something familiar, something soothing covering my base. I can smell the crisp outdoors and I detect the fragrance of the earth, of fresh soil.
I’m beginning to notice a chill surrounding me; it’s a refreshing and safe feeling and the strange uncomfortable warming sensation is passing. My lower limbs feel like they are bound but I am safe and comfortable – like being enveloped in a soothing blanket of snow. I feel protected, as though in a cocoon.
Thank you for giving me a chance to live by not taking an ax to me. Thank you for digging me out of the ground and keeping me alive. You have given me the chance to rest now and to grow strong under your protective care until winter arrives once again.
It was a joy spending Christmas with you!
I’m not dead; I’m only sleeping.
NAR © 2021