Many Unhappy Returns: A Minnie Ming Mystery

Written for Great Minds Think – “The Five
Clues Challenge”. Our hosts, Sarah & Rohini,
challenge us to write a poem or story
incorporating these five clues:

a red umbrella, a missing tooth, 1984,
a woman who hates birthdays, a bird that cannot fly

The cake had not been cut; that was the second thing Inspector Minnie Ming noticed when she stepped into the Crane drawing room. Eighty candles had burned down to puddles of wax, and the spinster Hester Crane sat as far from them as the room allowed.

“I despise birthdays,” she said. “I’ve hated them all my life. And now my great-grandmother’s irreplacable pearls have been stolen!”

Against the wall, a sizable floor safe stood open; that was the first thing Inspector Minnie Ming noticed.

“Who arranged this party?” the Inspector inquired.

“My nephew, Rupert. He insisted.”

Rupert, lounging by the fire, flashed a grin with one front tooth missing. “Polo,” he replied sheepishly. “A nasty ffffall.”

“One must avoid dangerous games, Mr. Crane,” Ming enigmatically advised. “Tell me, Miss Crane …. how many people know the combination to the safe?”

Hester Crane sniffed. “No one knows it except me and when this unpleasant business is over and done with, I will have it re-set. The combination is 1984.”

“Sixty years in the future …. a decade most of us will not live to see,” Inspector Ming observed. “A sensible choice.”

From beneath the desk came a rustle, and a colorful parrot waddled into the lamplight, its clipped wings folded like a gentleman’s coattails.

“That’s Penelope,” said Miss Crane. “She cannot fly, so she never leaves this room. She is my faithful companion.”

The constable appeared in the doorway. “Begging your pardon, Inspector, but we’ve found the pearls. Stuffed inside a red umbrella in the hall stand.”

Every eye turned to cousin Scarlet, who turned white. “It’s mine, but I never…….”

“Who carries an umbrella on a cloudless night?” Rupert questioned snidely.

“Someone who expects rain,” Inspector Ming replied. “Or someone who was meant to be blamed.” She crouched down beside the parrot. “Tell me, Penelope. What is the number?”

The bird cocked its head. “Nineteen-eighty-ffffour,” it squawked, and through the words ran an unmistakable stutter.

Inspector Ming rose. “Parrots repeat what they hear, exactly as they hear it. Miss Crane never told anyone the combination, yet someone in this room other than Miss Crane said the number aloud. The bird heard it being murmured over and over …. a bird that learned it by rote …. a bird that cannot fly from this room …. learned from someone who stutters when he speaks.”

All eyes went to the gap in Rupert’s teeth.

“A woman who hates birthdays does not throw herself a party,” Minnie Ming continued. “Someone needed the whole household gathered together, preoccupied, toasting a lady who preferred to be left alone, while he surreptitiously helped himself to her heirloom string of pearls. And Miss Scarlet’s umbrella was simply the most convenient place to deposit the blame.”

“You can’t ppppossibly believe a thing that evil bbbbird says! It’s llllying!” Rupert snapped.

“Parrots do not have the capacity for evil, Mr. Crane. They do not have a conscience …. something, I dare say, you and Penelope have in common.”

Rupert lunged for the door, tripped over an indignant Penelope, and landed squarely at the constable’s feet.

Miss Crane regarded the cake for a satisfied moment.

“Perhaps,” she said, “there is reason to celebrate after all.”

NAR©2026

This is “String of Pearls” by Glenn Miller & His Orchestra

THE FIVE CLUES CHALLENGE

^{Everything on The Elephant’s Trunk was created by me unless otherwise indicated, and may not be used without permission. Thanks for your consideration. NAR©2017-present.}