Short Story

Goo Goo G’Joob

Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶

Written for Muse On Monday where David asks us
to write a story based on a fairy tale. Also for
Sue & Gerry’s Weekly Prompts – The One Day Prompt.
Originally written in 2018, I couldn’t resist a repeat;
I hope you enjoy my story of Humpty Dumpty.

© Pinterest

May 4, 2018

TO: Mr. Al Bumen, Homeowners Association
FROM: Humpty Dumpty

Dear Mr. Bumen:

It is with eggstream distress that I find myself writing to you once again. 

Apparently the situation regarding the eggceedingly narrow wall upon which I often enjoy sitting has gone unaddressed as I have once again eggsperienced a great fall resulting in eggcruciating injuries. 

Usually my mishaps leave me slightly scrambled with a few minor cracks. However, in this most recent fall, all the kings horses and all the kings men were unable to put me back together again. 

As a result, I now find myself an impatient patient of Eggcelsior Hospital, completely covered in horrendous cracks …. some so deep that my yolk is eggscaping like yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eye. Do you not understand the severity of this situation? Do you even know who I am? I am the Egg Man, goo goo g’joob! 

The doctors have informed me that once I am healed I am to be hard boiled in an effort to protect my eggsterior shell should such a great fall happen again. This is no yolking matter as I have heard that hard-boiling is quite painful and there are no guarantees that the procedure will be successful. 

In the meantime, I am being coddled in my hospital bed, sharing a room with a severely burned slab of bacon whose incessant sizzling keeps me awake all night. 

Getting out of bed requires an over easy roll maneuver with the gentle assistance of the eggspert nurses on staff, but it is very embarrassing as the skimpy hospital gowns leave me quite eggsposed. 

I’m trying to keep my sunny side up but unless the wall is widened, I’m afraid I have no recourse but to bring this situation to the attention of my attorneys Messrs. Beauregard, Benedict, Florentine and Zabaione. I assure you I will be doing a slow soft boil until I hear from you regarding this eggstremely urgent matter. 

🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚 🥚

May 6, 2018

TO: Mr. Humpty Dumpty
FROM: Mr. Al Bumen, Homeowners Association 

Dear Mr. Dumpty:  

As you are aware, we recently had an issue with a maid who was in the garden one day hanging clothes when along came a blackbird and snipped off her nose. Wall sitting and clothes hanging are strictly forbidden, according to the rules of the Homeowners Association. While we sympathize with your plight, the wall will remain unchanged. Perhaps you would have better luck sitting on a cornflake. 


NAR©2025
Originally published 2018

This is “I Am The Walrus”

Muse on Monday – September 1, 2025
Weekly Prompts -The One-Day Prompt (16)

All text and graphics are copyright for Nancy Richy and are not to be used without permission. NAR©2017-present.

47 thoughts on “Goo Goo G’Joob”

  9. It’s not fair, … All the eggy jokes have been taken Nancy, … so I shall just say thank you, for the fun and laughter, … just what I need ‘cos I’m watching England playing football, …Eggzactly !! 💙⚽️💙

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    1. Wow, Debbie! Thanks for a fab comment; I’m truly honored! So glad you enjoyed my story.

      PS – If you’re referring to the proclivities of Eric Burdon, then yes. Jim Adams and I were just emailing each other about that story. It takes all kinds to make the world go ’round. 😁

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  13. Dear Mr. Dumpty,

    It sounds as if you’re on a short list to becoming a Helter Skelter Scramble. Please let me help you escape. If you could just roll over onto this toasted cheese open-faced?

    Fabulously funny and clever, Nancy!

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