Short Story

Bad Romance

Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶

Written for OLWG #425.
The prompts are below.
This is my story.

Image by Me & ChatGPT

The first time I had sex with TJ Sinclaire was also the last time.

All I could think about while doing the deed was why it was taking so goddamn long! Sure, he’d had a few drinks which tends to slow some guys down but the stories about him being able to hold his liquor were grossly exaggerated. So were the claims about TJ’s “impressive” anatomy. Take it from me …. I was not impressed.

Where the hell was my brain that steamy 4th of July night? Good thing there were fireworks overhead to take my mind off TJ’s unrequited thrusts. Finally I heard sounds that reminded me of a pig snorting around in a feeding bucket. TJ convulsed like a man touching the third rail, collapsed, farted …. and it was all over. Honestly, it had been over for me long before then.

TJ looked at me, quite pleased with himself, and asked the ubiquitous question: “Was it as good for you as it was for me?” And all I could do was roll my eyes and say “You have no idea!”

As if the night wasn’t disappointing enough, TJ Sinclaire didn’t have very deep pockets; so much for showing a girl a good time. A swing to the drive thru at Jack In the Box left a lot to be desired. The flat soda and flaccid fries were strangely reminiscent of something while the embarrassingly overt sexuality of the name of the eatery mocked me. At least Jack had a good night.

I’d been on some pretty cheap dates before but this one was a total gyp in every way!

NAR©2025
#OLWG

Here are our prompts: 1) what the hell was I thinking; 2) others do it faster; 3) a handful of dimes. We can use one prompt, two, all three or none at all. It doesn’t matter; we just need to be creative.

This is “Satisfaction” by Ksenia Buzina

OLWG# 425- Pasquatch

All text, graphics and videos are copyright for Nancy’s Notes 🖊️ 🎶, The Sicilian Storyteller, The Elephant’s Trunk, The Rhythm Section, et al. and are not to be used without permission. NAR©2017-present.

39 thoughts on “Bad Romance”

  1. Pingback: Bad Romance - Nayi Soch News-e-Hub

  8. I have to echo all the accolades you have already received from the others. This piece was a celebration of libidinously loose morals. I love it! Gracias

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  9. I have never had a woman tell me if she was satisfied with my performance in bed and I am wondering how many women actually let the guy know how he did. I have had some verbal cues with moans, but I never had any direct communication with someone telling me that I was the best ever.

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    1. Gasp! What’s wrong with those women? I don’t know why people …. women especially …. find it so difficult to communicate during sex. If being intimate with someone doesn’t embarrass them, why are they shy to talk about it, show some encouragement, give suggestions, tell him how you like it. It’s a shame and definitely their loss.

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  11. Oh my good grief, Nancy you had me crying with laughter, …, there’s something about farting, … toilet humour that just gets me, … and the role of the eyes and ‘you have no idea,’ ..… it just totally entertaining, … brilliant and funny writing, … thank you. I needed that., …💙

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    1. When it comes to scatological humor and “dirty” jokes, I think we all have a good laugh. Every time my granddaughter says “poop” (yes, she’s at that stage” she laughs and I try to be stern but I usually end up laughing, too. What the hell; I’m not going to constantly reprimand her. She’ll break that habit soon enough. After all, I don’t know any adults whose vocab includes liberal usage of the word “poop”! 😂

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    1. David, that metaphor is hilarious!
      Thanks for your comments! When the occasion calls for naughty humor, I’m all in …. the naughtier the better. Go big or go home, right? As long as we’re not writing like we’re in a XXX comedy club, it’s alright; there are other platforms for that. I appreciate your comments very much, David; knowing someone gets my jokes and thinks they’re funny is the best reward I could ask for. Mille grazie!

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