Story

Walk This Way

Nancy's Notes šŸ–ŠļøšŸŽ¶

When I die, Iā€™m going to donate my body to science. Donā€™t mistake me, Iā€™m not being altruistic. Iā€™m being realistic. Maybe one of those brilliant doctors or scientists can finally figure out what the fuck was wrong with me; I sure as hell havenā€™t had any luck so far. This long sought-after info wonā€™t be worth a pile of beans to me cos Iā€™ll be dead ā€¦. just saying.

There are 168 hours in one week. Just for fun, letā€™s divide that in half to represent day and night ā€“ awake hours vs asleep hours (not very accurate, I know, but you get the picture). Half of 168 is 84. Of those 84 hours, I experience a tingling sensation for about 70 hours per week, maybe more. And it’s not the good kind of tingling. You know what I mean, wink wink.

When the tingling first started, perhaps two years ago, it was fleeting ā€“ much like the feeling you get when your foot is about to fall asleep. It was located in the left side of my lower back and traveled down the back of my left thigh to my knee. It was annoying but not horrible. Over time, the tingling spread down to my toes; now it has also begun to travel up into my back, shoulder and neck ā€¦. all on the left side. And it is insatiable …. kinda like that feeling I get when I see Colin Farrell. There are few and far between times when Iā€™ll notice the tingling is gone; itā€™s sheer bliss and feels absolutely magnificent to be at rest. Then it comes back just a couple of hours later. Itā€™s back right now but this time in both legs! Ain’t that a kick in the head!?

I really enjoy walking but havenā€™t been getting out as much as Iā€™d like. Walking saved me the last time I had a major flare up. Everything just sort of healed itself. I got my strength and stamina back and I was feeling the best I’d felt in quite a while. I need to get back into walking. I know it sounds like a lame excuse but I really don’t enjoy walking when it’s freezing outside and there are no malls nearby to walk in.

Today was like Spring so I went for a short walk; I took it easy and was out for only about 15 minutes. I do not subscribe to the ”no pain, no gain’‘ school of thought; 15 minutes today was quite enough, thank you. After walking, I relaxed in my recliner for a while with an ice pack, just to be on the safe side. I love my recliner. Itā€™s where I make pit stops during the day, when I need a break from housecleaning, cooking, babysitting. Iā€™ll put my feet up and ice my back and neck and it helps.

Lately my head has developed a tendency to tilt to the left; it happens when Iā€™m watching TV or sleeping or checking out the new house being built across the way or sitting at my Mac, as I am right now. When I get really tired or Iā€™ve pushed myself too far, my lower back will start screaming while my left side becomes an angry buzz of tingles. My head will tilt dramatically to the left and I imagine I must look like Marty Feldman, the actor who played Igor in Mel Brooksā€™ ā€œYoung Frankensteinā€. (If youā€™ve seen the movie, you’ll know thatā€™s Eyegor and FrƤnkenstēēn). I adore Mel Brooks, the last of the real comedic geniuses. At least I have managed to keep my sense of humor through all this physical bullshit.

Now Iā€™m noticing a lovely new development: it’s all but impossible for me to tilt my head to the right! Ain’t that a kick in the head!? Itā€™s either sitting perfectly straight on my shoulders (which is good!) or tilting to the left. Thereā€™s a tendon, I think, that is stretched to the max like a big fat fully extended rubber band and itā€™s tight as a drum. Iā€™m pretty damn sure thatā€™s whatā€™s keeping me from tilting my head to the right. I saw my orthopedist the other day; she felt around my shoulders and said ā€œJeez, youā€™re really tight!ā€ Ya think!?!

Iā€™ve had multiple trigger point injections, nerve blocks, epidurals and cortisone shots, all resulting in extremely short term relief. X-Rays, scans and MRIs show a lot of arthritis, spinal stenosis and some funkiness going on with my discs but nothing ā€œremarkableā€. How can that be? Ain’t that a freakinā€™ kick in the head!? Hey! Maybe thatā€™ll set everything straight ā€¦. a good kick in the head!

So, hereā€™s the plan: next week Iā€™m going to have another bilateral shot in my lower back in the hope it will ā€œalleviate my discomfortā€. If it doesnā€™t, Iā€™ll have another series of MRIs to see if anything has changed over the 12 months since my last set of MRIs. It will be fantastic if the shot helps but Iā€™m not betting the house on it. One thing is certain: after this upcoming shot, Iā€™m done with injections. Iā€™ve had it so wish me luck! Well, you might be interested in knowing that besides the arthritis/stenosis, there’s not another single thing wrong with me. I’m in perfect health, totally aware of what’s happening to this “vessel” in which I exist. Ain’t that a kick in the head!?

My mister is one of the funniest people I know and we make each other laugh. It’s not always easy keeping a good sense of humor but it helps me get through everything. And to be perfectly honest …. Iā€™m getting really tired of walking around like Igor!

From Mel Brooksā€™ ā€œYoung Frankensteinā€, the first meeting of Igor and Dr. Frankenstein:

This is Dean Martin with “Ain’t That A Kick In The Head”

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36 thoughts on “Walk This Way”

    1. Thanks, David! It’s a literal pain in the neck!

      I’ve gone down the road to depression and it was no joyride. It’s not all shits and giggles but it beats becoming an emotional basketcase. One step at a time.

      I appreciate your sentiments and that hug; back at ya! šŸ¤—

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  4. I get very painful flare-ups in my feet mainly due to neuropathy and Ankylosing Spondylitis problems, especially after sleeping (right one worse than left). It does ease off during the day but the pain is always there

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  5. Sorry to read of your’ discomfort.’ Good though you can keep a sense of humour – Young Frankenstein is one of my favourite movies . I love the ‘Putting on the Ritz’ scene. šŸ˜€

    Hope you finally get everything sorted. šŸ™‚

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  7. “Hump? What hump?” I love the fact that there is no laugh track in that movie. As if Mel Brooks was confident enough to not have to TELL us when something is funny. šŸŽ­

    And sorry for your blooming, buzzing confusion of pain! After the long winter, I’m feeling to need for targeted PT exercises. I don’t function as well as I used to, either.

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  8. One of my favorite movies N. Haven’t watched it in a while, but it always leaves me in stitches.
    So sorry these problems continue. Here’s hoping the walking will help, you never know with spring springing what good surprises there might be.
    Keep laughing. I prescribe Monty as well for your viewing medicine.

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    1. Thanks, Dr. D! I will take your advice to heart.

      Seriously, walking saved me last time. We started out so ridiculously slowly, the snails were passing us on the path! Little by little, one step at a time, it happened. I walked a bit yesterday and I will walk a bit today. And tonight I’ll watch something brilliantly funny and laugh.

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  9. Oh that blows, my friend.ā€‚Have you ever seen a physiotherapist?ā€‚They can at least give specific exercises that may help?ā€‚Good thing for a sense of humour, for sure…

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  10. Iā€™m so sorry Nancy that youā€™re experiencing such bothersome symptoms. I hope the shot helps. If you arenā€™t already taking Vit B12, you can try that as it helps with nerves.

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