THE REGISTER

October 10, 2023October 10, 2023 Nancy's Notes 🖊️♬

“Gallagher’s B&B, a beautiful old Georgian country house in Tipperary, set in lovely wooded grounds and gardens. A warm welcome combined with superb food make this gracious house a tranquil refuge for those on honeymoon, couples celebrating a golden anniversary or anyone looking for that special opportunity to get away from it all! You’ll rest peacefully at Gallagher’s!” recited my bride Fiona breathlessly.

“How do you do that??” I asked for the fiftieth time since we met.

“I can’t help having a photographic memory! It’s a blessing and a curse!” she laughed.

It had been raining lightly and getting accustomed to driving on the other side of the road was challenging. As we turned the bend, the B&B appeared before us looking exactly like something out of a Thomas Moore poem. Just then the sun broke through the clouds, a rainbow in its wake.

“Look, Dylan! A rainbow! declared Fiona excitedly. “I’m going to make a wish!”

I chuckled at her childlike enthusiasm. We entered the old but immaculate building and a kindly lady was there to greet us at the front desk. “I’m guessing you’re the Colcannons. I’m Kathleen. Welcome! Would you be kind enough to sign the register?”

Fiona giddily signed the guest book. “Ah, newlyweds! There’s no mistaking that glow about ya, lass” Kathleen said, smiling broadly. “Our last guests departed yesterday so you’ll have the whole place to yourselves.” Handing us the key to our room, we were informed that dinner would be served at 7pm.

Our room was charming with a view of the rear gardens. Just before dinner we checked out the library. It was small but offered a variety of books from ‘Time Travelers’ to the writings of Diogenes. Dinner was phenomenal – leek and potato soup for starters, then Kathleen’s own creation called Guinness beef and onion pot pie. Dessert was an amazing apple crisp with vanilla bean ice cream and a perfectly brewed cup of coffee. Exhausted and full, we retired early, looking forward to sightseeing in the morning.

The next day we were served a traditional Irish breakfast of eggs, bacon, hash, toast, marmalade and Lyons Tea. “I’m stuffed! You up for a walk?” I asked Fiona, and off we went exploring. Typical of Ireland, the day was overcast and as we walked along the path we came upon a cemetery. Slowly we weaved our way among the headstones, reading aloud the names as we went along.

“This is one for the record book of coincidences” said Fiona. “Yesterday when I signed the register I remember seeing the name ‘Guinness’ and dinner was Guinness pot pie. Another name in the register was ‘Lyons’ and this morning at breakfast we had Lyons Tea. And now here are two headstones with those very same names! That’s truly incredible!”

“It’s just your photographic memory working overtime, Fiona. Both those names are pretty common here. I don’t think it’s terribly incredible, luv.”

Fiona gave me a playful shove and we continued our walk. Strolling by the gardens, we discovered Kathleen busily gathering vegetables. “Why, if it isn’t Mr. & Mrs. Colcannon out for a morning stroll”. She proudly showed us the potatoes she’d just dug up. “For tonight’s dinner”, she explained. “A combination of mash with bacon and cabbage cooked together in butter and blended with a lovely ladle-full of cream.”

“Oh, my goodness! That sounds delicious!” declared Fiona “What’s it called?”

Kathleen looked up at us from her crouched position. “Why, I reckon it’s a name you’re quite familiar with.” Then, moving very swiftly for a large woman, she jumped up and began hacking wildly with her machete! Grinning like a madwoman, she shrieked “It’s called Colcannon!”

The last thing I remember seeing was my darling Fiona’s head roll to the ground. I was felled by an excruciating pain in my neck while Kathleen cackled hideously. Then the whole world went black.