
The other night I was sound asleep when I gradually became aware of a noise somewhere in the background of my mind. I could tell it wasn’t an intruder … nothing so threatening or invasive as that. It was more of an ambient sound; it came and went and I was only vaguely aware of it – just enough to ambush my slumber.
The recurring sound eventually roused me completely from my sleep. Asking myself “What is that?”, I elbowed my snoring husband and was rewarded with a prolonged, irritated grunt. Whispering his name and tapping him on the shoulder did nothing so I was forced to use the bicep shove.
“Honey! There’s a noise and it won’t stop. I think it may be coming from the bathroom.”
“GRLBRTH! Probly tlet. Jgl hndl” was my husband’s alien-sounding response. Being fluent in S.I. (Sleepus Interruptus), I had no trouble translating. I padded into the bathroom and jiggled the toilet handle, per my husband’s instructions. I listened to the water run for a bit, then stop. Quiet was restored.
All of a sudden, something felt like it darted by me and I was momentarily startled. Cautiously I found my way to the bedroom door, and peeked into the hall; without my glasses I could only make out blurred images but nothing seemed amiss. Satisfied all was as it should be, I turned back into the bedroom, leaving the door ajar to allow for the air to circulate on this cool September night.
I climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up around my face. Just as I was about to slip back into the arms of Morpheus, the noise returned and I did an eye roll behind my closed lids. Reluctant to leave my cozy cocoon a second time, I chose the wait-and-see option. Eventually the sounds stopped and I fell back to sleep.
Like the soft beat of a tom-tom on a far-away island, the distant yet persistent swooshing sound once more made its presence known. My shoulders sagged and I sighed deeply; a grim realization set in – sleeplessness had won out. I felt cheated, gypped out of a decent night’s stay in The Land of Nod.
As I lay there becoming increasingly annoyed, another vexing fact occurred to me: today was the beginning of a long holiday weekend. The odds of contacting a plumber, let alone finding one willing to come to the house, would be slim at best.
I sat up in bed, my back resting against the cushy pillows, as my vision gradually became accustomed to the dimness of the pre-dawn hour. Squinting through sandy eyes, I barely made out an ethereal shadow in the bathroom; it was the Night Stalker – of that I was certain. I reached for my glasses and the creature’s image came into clear view. She looked directly into my eyes and intentionally, deliberately choosing to defy me, stretched out her arm.
What happened next was something I had never witnessed before; I stared in amazement. Part of me was amused, just slightly. Reaching for a paperback book on my nightstand, I heaved it in the general direction of the offender in the bathroom. The book missed its mark and succeeded only in knocking several items to the floor.
“You little bitch,” I hissed.
She jumped off the toilet and strolled away indifferently, typically ignoring my existence.
“Next time jiggle the handle, you beast!’

© NAR
NAR © 2023
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Nance, I just wanna tell you that you are an incredible storyteller! I know this is true, but it is how you tell them, they are just so funny, lol. 😀
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Thanks so much, CA! What a fabulous comment!
I try really hard to make all my stories entertaining; I’m so pleased to know you appreciate them.
Thank you!
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Well, that was a surprise! Lots of chuckles in this one, with some added suspense. 👏🏻
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Catching up on some long overdue replies that seem to fall right through the cracks!
Thank you so much. Michele, for your always complimentary comments. They are very much appreciated … even if I don’t always remember to reply!
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My next-door neighbors trained their cat to use their downstair toilet, so they didn’t need a litter box, but it never learned how to flush. When Cain killed his brother Able, he was banished to The Land of Nod.
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Exactly. The Land of Nod is located east of Eden; remember that great movie? I think if a cat can be toilet trained it can certainly learn how to flush! 😹
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This could be a good time to electrify your toilet handle.
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Hahaha!! An excellent idea but I’d probably be the first one to get zapped! ⚡️
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You’ve got yourself a hellcat!😆
I have no experience living with cats and I most certainly never will ( cue Fates laughing).
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Lucy was a nasty beast who was taken away from her feral mother much too early in life. We’ve had her since she was 4 weeks old and we hoped she would grow into a “normal” snuggly cat who falls asleep curled up in your lap, purring contentedly. Lucy has mellowed some with age but she is not like the mushball cats I always had. We are ever vigilant, especially when Colette is here. So far she has not scratched Colette; when that happens it’s sayonara time.
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Toilet handles are catnip to kitties. Toilet paper rolls are great toues for dogs. Having had both cats and dogs, we’ve learned to close our bathroom doors.
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Oops. Toilet paper rolls are great TOYS for dog!
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Oh, we’ve tried closing the door; she’ll scratch the crap out of it until one of us can’t stand it any longer and gets up to open the door. She is nothing if not persistent.
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My cat doesn’t jiggle the handle, either. But then, he doesn’t have one on the litter box, so he probably ffg doesn’t know how…
Naughty boy. 🐈
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I have no idea how Lucy learned to do this!
Next step is potty training …. NOT!
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😆😆😆
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I had a feline feeling…
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I wondered if anyone would catch on.
That photo always cracks me up!
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…and people ask me why I don’t want a cat!
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And you must tell them people don’t choose to have cats; cats choose to have people!
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Dogs have masters, cats have servants!
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Right you are!
Fortunately, Bill is the cat whisperer 😂
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I would find spiders. At least they don’t make any noise. Great story and enjoyed the music too.
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Finding spiders and crickets in the basement; Lucy’s good at that.
I just wish she’d stop the damn flushing and let me sleep.
Thanks, Sighs! Glad you enjoyed it all.
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LOL! Cats! I must admit that I’ve never had their dubious pleasure. 😂
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They are a trip and we are at her mercy. 😹
We never had a dog and live vicariously through doggie people we meet while walking. Phoebe and Winston, two poodle siblings, smile at us. Doggie smiles are ridiculously cute. 😊
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So very naughty of her.
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Very. And so smart!
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Yes, they are quite clever
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Cats are wonderful people.
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That they are. They rule the roost!
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That’ll learn ya.
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You should know!
And I can’t even close the door; she’ll scratch at it till we relent.
Now the toilet’s running again. 🙄 🤣
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Think of it as a challenge!
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As opposed to a pain in the arse! 😼
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