“Christ. Jesus Christ. You may have heard of me. 

Born in Bethlehem, mother was Mary, father was Joseph. Well, let the record show he was actually my ‘foster father’’.  My real father is the big man upstairs. Crazy, right? What with Him and me and the Holy Spirit being Three in One,  It’s complicated – kinda like the Fab Four only not. Damn, those boys are good. People say they’re even bigger than me. 

Oh, please, no need to introduce yourselves. I’ve known you since you were in your mother’s womb. Actually, since before that. Again – it’s complicated. 

I’d like to address a few things. That ‘questionable relationship’’ between Mary Magdalene and me? Yeah, it happened and let me tell you – once you’ve had your feet washed by Mary’s tears and dried by her long brown hair, there’s no going back. But I digress. 

Do you people think I really wanted to come to earth, take on human form, and die for your sorry asses? You know Matthew quoted me as saying ‘Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.’ You all saw the picture of me in the Garden of Gethsemane. I was sweating blood. Hell, I was crying blood. 

I never asked for it – roaming the desert, preaching, choosing my disciples, performing miracles, being adored on Palm Sunday [ok, I have to admit the miracles and adoration were pretty cool] but the tempers that raged? No piece of cake. 

The denials and betrayals by those I loved most. The badgering  by Pontius Pilate and Herod Antipas. The humiliation by the Roman soldiers. My unimaginably agonizing crucifixion – looking down from the cross to see my mother a broken woman. 

And for what?! Look at you! Have you learned nothing in two thousand years? Oh, there are some good ones among you, thank God, but most of you make me sad, regret giving up my life so that you could be saved. Eternal life! How many of you deserve eternal life? 

Let’s take a quick look around. The deceit, corruption, lies, immorality, hatred, killings, greed, war, the democrats, the republicans, the Arabs and Jews (still!), Brexit, Russia, China, COVID, quarantine, vaccines, anti-vaxxers, the WORLD!

What have you done to this perfect Garden of Eden my Father created? Our collective trio of hearts is breaking.

As my sweet George likes to say:

‘Isn’t it a pity?

Isn’t it a shame

How we break each others hearts

And cause each other pain?

How we take each others love

Without thinking anymore

Forgetting to give back

Isn’t it a pity? 

Some things take so long

But how can I explain

When not too very many people

Can see we’re all the same

And because of all their fears

Their eyes can’t hope to see

All the beauty that surrounds them

Lord, isn’t it a pity?’

Get your acts together, people, before it’s too late. Love one another as I have loved you. And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. 

Remember – I’ll be back.”

NAR © 2019

PS – Just a few months after this post, we were in the throes of the COVID pandemic. Perhaps The Father, Son and Holy Ghost were on to something. NAR 2021


I have a burning question. How many of us can honestly say we’ve seen God … not just seen Him but had a full-blown conversation – a religious experience replete with images and epiphanies? Ten, twenty, fifty, one hundred perhaps unless, of course, while under the influence of mind-expanding, hallucination-inducing psychedelic drugs the number would increase exponentially.

That is exactly what happened one night when my fiancé emerged from the bedroom after an hours-long LSD trip and announced to all in the living room, “I have just seen God and I now know there’s no such thing as everlasting death.”

Being in various stages of synthetic delusion, our reactions ran the gamut from “Heavy, dude!” to “What-the-fuckedness?!” to fits of hysterical laughter. Undeterred, although somewhat unsteady and quite high, my friancé wound his way through the mass of pillows strewn about the room and situated himself in the middle of the floor like the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.

Fifteen pairs of glazed-over eyes watched while he went on to explain how God revealed to him that the followers of Pythagoras were extremely superstitious and mystical. They believed that the human soul was trapped in a continuous cycle of death and reincarnation. Although the body dies, the soul lives on, lying dormant in a constantly spinning dimension of the universe where it patiently waits to be catapulted back to earth, implanted into one form or another of the female species, and is reborn. And this cycle of death and reincarnation can be experienced by an individual an infinite number of times.

Minds officially blown, we all agreed this new-found knowledge was indeed “heavy” and required more contemplation while listening … again … to Dark Side Of The Moon. But I, who was always somewhat preoccupied and frightened by the thought of dying and ceasing to exist for all eternity, wanted to learn more about this amazing concept. I found it calming, hopeful and profound. So my future husband and I discussed this astounding, all-encompassing theory which I took fully to heart. Suddenly I was filled with a warm peace, a confirmation that the soul lives on, returning after mortal death. How ineffably comforting.

Soon I found myself drifting off to sleep in Bill’s arms as Pink Floyd played softly in the background:

“I am not frightened of dying. Any time will do, I don’t mind.”

NAR © 2018

Reposted for C.E. Ayrs MinMin challenge Rock n Roll – Min Min Challenge.