Haibun

Sometimes I Wonder: A Haibun

Nancy's Notes šŸ–ŠļøšŸŽ¶

Lately I have been pondering some of life’s mysteries.

If I had gone out on that blind date in March of ’68 with Billā€™s twin brother Jim instead of Bill [which was the original plan], and married Jim instead of Bill, would I have experienced the same happiness and blessings in my life? Would I have had the long and loving relationship, the feeling of security I enjoy now? Would my spouse still have been my equal partner in every aspect of our marriage? Would I have conceived and given birth to the amazing children I raised who in turn have blessed me with incredible grandchildren? Would we be celebrating our 52nd wedding anniversary?

Or would I be a widow?

Two-and-a-half months ago, before my husbandā€™s brother died, I never thought about such things. Strange how death can make us wonder about life.

scattering stardust
unanswerable questions
swirling round my brain

NARĀ©2024

This is Hoagy Carmichaelā€™s ā€œStardustā€ featuring the voice of Nat King Cole

All text, graphics and videos are copyright for The Sicilian Storyteller, The Elephantā€™s Trunk and The Rhythm Section and are not for use by anyone without permission. NARĀ©2017-present.

48 thoughts on “Sometimes I Wonder: A Haibun”

    1. Every once in a while I believe we all entertain these what-if scenarios. It’s a fascinating subject. I’m quite sure if I gone on that blind date with Jim instead of Bill, things would not have progressed very far so it’s a moot point.

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  4. It’s definitely a “what if…” kind of world, ain’t it? My Beloved Sandra and I just got married a couple of years ago, and they’ve been the happiest years of the last half-century that we’ve been together. And all because she lost a coin-flip with one of her friends just before closing time at some bar aaai only visited maybe twice per year.

    I thought you might dig this:

    How It Happened | Scrambled, Not Fried (wordpress.com)

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    1. Oh man! Talk about right place, right time! We can make all the freaking plans we want and it can still come down to a chance in a million crap shoot. If it’s meant to be, it will be …. sometimes!

      Great comment!

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  6. My 30 year old son and I were just discussing paths not taken, and ones delayed until later years. He pointed out that we wouldn’t be who we are now, had we taken that other path. Would we even be the type of person to ask that type of question? We chuckled and turned back to our sushi and tea…

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    1. Me too, Dale! There’s a definite reason Bill took Jim’s place on that blind date. Call it karma or fate or dumb luck. Whatever the reason, it was the best thing to happen for both of us. 52 years wed today! ā¤ļø

      Nat. The King. Such a gorgeous voice made for this beauty of a song.

      Grazie, cara mia!

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  14. (Happy Anniversary, Nancy… assuming it’s today or soon)

    “sometimes I wonder…” …we tend to do that often…and it changes nothing… positive and negative…

    beautifully done…šŸ¤

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    1. Writing about my brother-in-law is therapeutic; logically we know he is gone but we still cannot wrap our heads around it. The suddenness of his death is still so unreal.
      Yes, our anniversary is today; despite wonderings, I can’t conceive of sharing my life with anyone else.

      Thank you, Destiny šŸ©¶

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  16. A beautiful poem to express such deep thoughts. I wonder a lot about a sort of similar thing, if meeting my current husband was fated or whether this entire life we’ve built together was just a lucky roll of the dice.

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