Short Story

Fiasco In Florence

Nancy's Notes đŸ–ŠïžđŸŽ¶

When my sister Rosemarie had her 16th birthday, our parents decided it was the perfect time for our first family vacation in Italy. Plans were made for the summer 
. three weeks traveling around Italy and another three weeks visiting family in Sicily.

One of our stops was Florence where we stayed in a breathtaking guesthouse called Pensione Mona Lisa. Our accommodations were similar to an apartment but without a kitchen; all meals were served in the communal dining room. Our parents took the master bedroom on the first floor while Rosemarie and I shared a loft bedroom which also had its own bathroom.

All the rooms were exquisitely decorated with beautiful furnishings and expensive rugs. In our bathroom there was a claw-foot tub, separate shower, a pedestal sink and an enclosed area with the toilet. Next to the toilet was an odd-looking fixture neither of us had ever seen before. It was the same size as the toilet but with extra faucets and handles and a strange sprinkler contraption in the center of the bowl. When we turned the faucets on, water shot out straight from the sprinkler; we immediately turned off the water, then sat there trying to figure out just what the hell the damn thing was. 

After considerable thought, we came to the conclusion it was for foot-washing. Happily kicking off our sandals, we turned on the water and bathed our hot, tired feet. We dried off with the small paper guest towels in the bathroom and tossed them into the bowl, then pulled one of the levers expecting the towels to flush away. Well, they didn’t. In fact the ‘footwasher’ very quickly filled with water and overflowed as Rosemarie and I tried desperately to stop it.

Before we knew it, the bathroom floor was covered with water which leaked out into the bedroom, soaking the rug. We watched helplessly as the water trickled down the stairs into the main living section, drenching the gorgeous rugs. Our mother saw what was happening and rang the front desk for help but it was pretty much a lost cause.

The pensione staff arrived and started yelling and screaming at us in Italian as other guests hurried over to see what all the commotion was about. The rugs were ruined and we were responsible for the damages. The rooms became uninhabitable and when we inquired about other lodgings, the pensione manager told us they were all booked and we had to find another place to say for the remainder of our time in Florence. After paying off the front desk clerk, he begrudgingly made a few calls for us; we were told there was a small hotel in Pisa that could accommodate us.

Despite all the angry hotel personnel, the name-calling, the expense for damages, the inconvenience of relocating and our parents general frustration, nothing could have prepared them for the embarrassment and mortification they felt explaining to their sixteen year old daughter and her tween sister the purpose of a bidet.

NAR©2024

This is “Only Sixteen” by Sam Cooke

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49 thoughts on “Fiasco In Florence”

  4. Funny story – what sheltered lives we led!

    We know what it was for but on our first holiday in Italy we part filled ours with cold water and used it to keep wine cool. Must have given the cleaner a laugh 😊

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  7. Ah! The butt-washing bidet. My folks had one, so their children knew, and knew it was off-limits for us.

    But when their friends came over with kids, it was mistaken for a urinal. My mom yelled; don’t know if they’re friends any more….😆

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    1. How very forward-thinking of your folks!

      For whatever reason, they’re not a fundamental fixture in most American bathrooms. I think they’re a must and kits from Amazon are readily available and easily installed. I am not a paid spokesperson for Amazon. 😂

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  10. Lol.

    😂😂😂😂😂😂đŸŒč😂đŸŒčđŸŒčđŸŒčđŸŒčđŸŒč

    sorry đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€žđŸ€žđŸ€žđŸ€ž

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  11. Buahahahaha! I laugh all the harder because I actually did have a bidet in my former house that I used mostly to soak my feet! ;-) 

    This is so funny…. not so much for your parents, though… Lordy.

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      1. Here are the Lyrics
        “Drowning In The Sound”

        You worship the sun and you’re aching for change
        But you keep starving your heart
        You used to have sisters
        You don’t anymore
        You worship the sun…
        But you keep feeding the dark

        And I’m out in the yard
        With my son and daughter
        And the sky is all black and I think we should start running…
        Running from the water

        And everybody’s yelling
        Yelling that they’re coming
        But I don’t see a single soul
        They’re all so busy yelling
        Not one of them is hearing
        The hissing from the bottom of the boat

        I got some feelings up my sleeve
        I got a compass in my arm
        I got a needle in my heart
        It’s gonna tell us where we are

        South by south west
        Two miles from town
        I can’t get out
        I can’t look down
        If you can hear
        If you’re around
        I’m over here
        I’m over here
        I’m watching everyone I love
        Drowning in the sound

        You worship the sun
        But the moons in the way
        So get your armaments out
        She’s always looking for trouble
        She’s gonna get what’s been coming to her
        She’s switching the tide and we can’t have that shit around

        The television they’re blaring out the warning:
        That our natural state is drowning
        That our natural state is burning

        And you’re trying to help
        And you’re clicking for change
        And you’re calling it out
        And you’re adding your name
        And you’re marching for peace
        But you’re lynching the bitch
        That got up in your face
        How else they gonna to take you seriously?

        South by south west
        Two miles from town
        I can’t get out
        I can’t look down
        If you can hear
        If you’re around
        I’m over here
        I’m over here
        I’m watching
        Everyone I love
        Drowning in the sound

        And your body is a temple
        But the temple is a prison
        And the prison’s overcrowded
        And they know about the flooding
        And the body politic is getting sicker by the minute
        And the media’s not fake
        It’s just very
        Inconvenient

        Do you ever feel that this should be officially the end?
        And that you should be the one to do the ending but you can’t?

        And do you ever feel that everyone is slowly letting go
        Do you ever feel that… incredibly alone?

        And they’re saying not to panic
        And it’s like a broken record
        Not like anybody know what that is
        And they’re saying that they’ll manage
        It’s the hottest one on record
        And they’re saying that it’s just the way it is

        And now I can taste it coming
        I can taste it with my tongue
        And my children are so heavy
        But I pick them up and run
        And I know I’ll have to swim soon
        When the water gets too high
        I’ll keep on holding them above me
        I’ll keep on holding them and crying

        South by south west
        Two miles from town
        I can’t get out
        I can’t look down
        If you can hear
        If you’re around
        I’m over here
        I’m watching
        Everyone I love
        Everyone I love
        Everyone on earth
        Drowning in the sound

        You worship the sun and you’re aching for change
        But you keep starving your heart
        You used to have sisters
        You don’t anymore
        You worship the sun…
        But you keep feeding the dark

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