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CHARLOTTE THE HARLOT

The Sicilian Storyteller

Time now for another installment of “Six Sentence Stories” as challenged by my friends at GirlieOnTheEdge. Punctuation be damned! This week’s prompt word is ‘EXCHANGE’.

When my boyfriend Keith sent me a surprise gift of a pair of metallic orange pleather boots with stiletto heels, I was somewhat taken aback; after six years of dating, Keith should have known I hated the color orange and thought anything made out of that cheesy fake leather was the height of tacky – what was he thinking?!

A couple of hours before the package arrived, Keith left me a voicemail that was gushing with delight and enthusiasm, positive I would be thrilled with his gift; in fact, his excitement was so contagious I was sure I would love whatever he sent me but nothing could have been further from the truth.

I don’t know what goes on in Keith’s mind sometimes and why he thought I would like the boots but they were hideous and I knew I would never wear them but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I made up a little white lie by saying as much as I loved them, they didn’t fit and I would have to exchange them for something else; Keith took it well and was not upset by my decision so off I went to the boutique – after all, it’s not like I hadn’t exchanged plenty of gifts from Keith.

I explained to the saleswoman that the boots were a gift and not really my style and I’d like to see what I could get as a replacement; she was totally understanding, agreeing that this particular fashion statement was not for everyone, and encouraged me to take a look around for something that caught my eye and didn’t scream “42nd Street Hooker!”

Just a few minutes after I started browsing around the store, the saleswoman called me to the front desk to inform me that I could not return the boots because they had been purchased on sale and had a no return or exchange policy; needless to say I was bummed out because I was looking forward to getting a nice pair of black suede boots or maybe a new leather jacket but that wasn’t the only thing that burned my cookies.

Inside the gift box hidden under all the tissue paper was a little envelope with a card inside which I hadn’t noticed before and was obviously not meant for me because it read: For My Steaming Hot Charlotte (NOT MY NAME!) – Can’t wait to see you dance for me wearing nothing but these orange beauties – Love Ya Baby, Your Big Bad Keith; but what really made my blood boil was thinking that ‘Charlotte the Harlot’ was probably “oohing and aahing” right this minute over a gorgeous pair of black suede boots meant for me as a gift from Keith – that no good two-timing weasel!

NAR © 2022

31 thoughts on “CHARLOTTE THE HARLOT”

  3. I am so laughing right now Nancy! Great story! I’d shred those boots so fast and throw them on his lawn with a note
    On a blow up doll that says: here’s to the 2 timing looser that took me for a doll. Im living my best life in my black suede boots with the guy the deserves me. 😂😎👍🏾

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    1. Hahaha!!! A blow up doll! I love it! (check out my story “Up, Up and Away”). I bow before you for thinking of that and shredding those boots. Oh, sweet revenge!! You rock, Cindy G!! 🤣 😎 🤘🏼

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    1. Yes! That’s what I want to hear! You’re the second person to mention the final twist and I’m glad you caught it. I couldn’t just let Keith get away with being a two-timing idiot, now could I? 🤣 So glad you enjoyed the experience! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.❣️

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  8. I wonder how many women have actually had such an experience. How awful that would be. Great story Nancy. I liked that you put the card at the very end. I can’t even imagine what I would be doing with those boots. Sending love, Joni

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    1. I’m sure it’s happened plenty of times, Joni. When we try to juggle too many balls we’re eventually gonna have a screw up. You have to be a master player to keep the balls from colliding and even then the act will only last so long before a ball drops … or in this case, a boot. I thought it was a pretty funny scenario and I’m sure Keith will get his comeuppance. Oh, I know what I would do with those boots; break my bloody neck! 🤣 🤣

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  9. lol
    Excellent Six*
    Perhaps the not-Charlotte protag might play dumb and wear the boots on her next interaction with BBK. Death by cognitive dissonance seems fitting for one so careless with addresses.

    *Engaging with a twist at the end**
    ** or, in the case of some of the other Sixarians, (names rhymes with See Here)… twisted endings..lol

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    1. Death by cognitive dissonance! Haha! If anyone can pull that off it would be our not-Charlotte protag. BBK is dead meat, no matter what. There’s no way around this one. Thanks for your extremely intuitive and clever comments! Much appreciated.

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  13. So glad you enjoyed it, Spira! With the comment you just made, I KNOW you have a great sense of humor! Best get while the getting’s good; hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! 🤣 😈

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    1. Flattered.

      Hell hath no fury like, indeed…that is why my character at the Six Sentence Cafè & Bistro, Nick the Gatekeeper, has an ever watchful eye for anyone even thinking to disrespect the ladies occupying the seats of the establishment; and if they do…then watchful turns into wrathful 😈

      (Forgive the late reply…your reply to mine was posted as a separate comment…happens to me all the time, especially when I’m using the mobile app🙂 )

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