It’s been quite a while since I went to church. It wasn’t one specific thing that happened; it was a lot of little things that changed the way I feel about church.
Up until a few years ago, a large portion of my time was spent attending Mass and being involved in church activities. I was a Leader of Song, the Assistant Choir Director of the Children’s Choir as well as an active member of both the Adult English and Italian Choirs. I was president of the Parish Council, taught CCD and was also the music curator for a long time; I put my heart and soul into that position.
As I said, a lot of little things changed my opinion of church and by that I mean organized religion. I know for many people being physically inside a church and attending services is an integral part of their lives. Sitting in the sanctuary, singing the hymns, hearing the word of God, receiving Communion, praying, feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit can be extremely moving, comforting and fulfilling. To those people who honestly feel that way, I’m very glad your lives are so richly filled.
I know where I stand with God; He and I have been pretty close since I was born – probably before that. I believe He knows my innermost feelings and hears me when I speak to Him, which is often. I tried to talk to God every night but I wasn’t always successful; I’d get tired and fall asleep. I had good intentions and He knew that. Now I speak with Him whenever I feel like it even though He knows all about me (and I truly believe that).
You notice I don’t use the word “pray”. For me that’s a bit too formal but if it works for you then go for it. There were times when I’d only pray when I was worried and things were troubling me; I’d tell God what I did wrong (as if He didn’t already know) or what was weighing me down and pray for Him to intervene. I’m sure many of you can relate.
The thought of talking to God came to me quite by accident one night after spending the day with my grandchildren. It was a particularly good day and I was thinking about the joy those kids bring me. I found myself taking a few minutes to say “thank you” to God for the many blessings in my life. I think that’s when I finally realized my blessings far outweighed my troubles and I wanted to acknowledge where those blessings came from. We had a wonderful talk, God and me. It didn’t last long, there was no kneeling or reciting the rosary. I just talked and I know God heard because a calmness came over me. It’s amazing what a couple of minutes one-on-one with God can do. I don’t want to be a hypocrite and only show my face in church on Christmas and Easter. I’d rather just have my own personal relationship with God whenever the ’spirit’ moves me.
I converted to Catholicism when I was 32 years old. Going to confession for the first time was deeply meaningful and I felt reborn. The second time was not like the first; sadly, all the priest wanted to do was gossip about other people in the church. That, I realize, is an anomaly but it turned me off to confession. Perhaps some day when I know my time on earth is reaching an end I’ll want someone to absolve me of my sins but for now I don’t need an intermediary; I talk to God and I know He forgives me.
There may be some who no longer consider me a very good Catholic; that’s okay. I like to think I’m a good Christian and a decent person. There’s no denying I screw up big time. Frequently. I’m only human and I’m sure God is looking down at me saying “There she goes again!”. Guilty as charged. I’m also sure God understands and is always ready and willing to give me another chance.
I hope I never take advantage of God’s forgiveness; how selfish and ungrateful would that be? After all, look at the sacrifice He made for our undeserving souls. Pretty awesome, no? Thank God!
To all who observe this very sacred day I wish you a most blessed Good Friday. I’ll tell God you said “Hello” next time we chat.
NAR © 2022
The Elephant's Trunk 
Telling God what he already knows is an intimacy from the beginning.
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As He said “I knew you when you were in your mother’s womb”.
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And, “my delights are with the sons of men!”
I think his great, maybe greatest glory is to merge his Spirit with ours, and share in the nitty gritties of life.
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Dear Nancy what a lovely post. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t know and love God either. I don’t believe you have to be in a church to have a relationship with God. I enjoy being around other people and worshiping with others but I don’t think it’s a requirement. One of the most faithful Christian women I ever met I never went to church could quote any scripture and had written in the Bible over and over again during her many years on this earth. So I understand what you’re saying. I talk to God throughout the day and pray many times a day as well . My husband and I also pray together. Even Jesus talked about going into a closet and shutting the door when you pray, basically what you say between you and God is between you and God. Have a truly blessed evening. Love Joni
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Thank you, Joni. I think more people feel the way we do although for many still attending church every Sunday is a fundamental part of their lives. I am happy with my relationship with God and that is what is important for everyone. Religion is a very personal thing and we can’t judge one another on how we worship. COVID kept a lot of people out of church for a long time and many found other ways to communicate with God. Now that we can actually return to church, people have settled into new routines that work for them. I’ve gotten very positive feedback regarding this post so I know I’m in good company. Thanks so much for your comments and your insights. They mean a great deal to me. God bless. Love, Nancy
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You are very welcome Nancy. My husband and I too have gotten used to our routine of listening to church on the Internet. We want to be as safe as we can be and we are hearing the Lord‘s word. Like you said however people worship is private and what’s important is faith and the love of God and Jesus his son, born to a Virgin Mary. That he died and rose again and we will be in heaven when die. Sending you much love, and blessings to you too. Joni ❤️🤗🙏🦋
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Your title Nancy is the bed rock of having a relationship with God. No one else on the planet can have one for you. No religious system can be a substitute. God and me.
We do have a little church in the woods we attend but only because there are like minded people there helping one another in and outside the church through life and nudging one another to stay close and grow our relationship with God. My God and me time is all day every day but starts in the morning by reading a bit in the Bible and taking time to have a talk with the Lord and listen as well. It’s my bedrock time for whatever the day brings.
I sure like that title “God and me” on so many levels.
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Thank you, Gary! That means a great deal to me. If I had a little like-minded church here with people espousing the same beliefs and standards as myself, I would be there. Alas, it’s not the case but I’m happy and comfortable with my relationship with God and me.
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So relatable, Nancy. Thanks for sharing.💕🙏💕
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Oh Nancy, you’ve touched me by your words about church. It’s true, many Christian gatherings are these days full of hypocrites, gossipers, murderers and all sort of evil people. But as long as one knows and masters the nutsvand bolts about their relationship with God, that’s enough. Lots of people go to religious gatherings every week, sometimes even daily, but still walk in sin. Really, one would ask, what use is it. Is so touched and encouraged me how you’ve bonded up with God and talks to him privately. You’ve indeed fulfilled the following directive by the Lord Jesus Christ:
“Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. 6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. 6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.”
Blessings to you.
🌟🌟❤❤🌟🌟
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🙏🏼
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