Fandango asks us:
DO YOU EVER USE A MEAL DELIVERY SERVICE SUCH AS DOORDASH (OR WHATEVER LOCAL EQUIVALENTS ARE AVAILABLE IN YOUR PART OF THE WORLD)? IF SO, HOW OFTEN WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE MEALS DELIVERED TO YOUR DOORSTEP?
“Mom! I’m starvin’! What’s for dinner!”
“Me too, Mom! I’m so hungry! I didn’t eat all day!”
“Well, I’m hugrier than both of you! I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!”
“So what! I could eat a hippo!”
“Big deal! I could eat an elephant!”
“Kids! Please! I’ve been busy cleaning the house and doing laundry all day. I forgot to take something out of the freezer for dinner. We’ll have to get something delivered.”
“Yeah! I want Smashburger. Let’s call DoorDash or GrubHub or Uber Eats!”
“No, Jimmy! We had Smashburger last night. I wanna get Panera Bread!”
“Well, too bad, Betty. Nobody wants Panera Bread except you, right Bobby?”
“Well, I don’t want Smashburger OR Panera Bread. I want Domino’s!”
“SMASHBURGER!”
“PANERA BREAD!”
“DOMINO’S!”
“SMASHBURGER! PANERA BREAD! DOMINO’S”
“SMASHBURGER! PANERA BREAD! DOMINO’S”
“Kids! Stop shouting! I’ve got an awful headache and I’m going upstairs to rest.”
“SMASHBURGER! PANERA BREAD! DOMINO’S!”
“SMASHBURGER! PANERA BREAD! DOMINO’S!”
“DADDY’S HOME! DADDY’S HOME!”
“Hey, guys! What’s all the shouting about? I can hear you all the way out in my car. What’s going on?”
“Mommy forgot to take something out of the freezer for dinner…”
“So we’re getting DoorDash or GrubHub or Uber Eats…”
“I want Smashburger, Betty wants Panera Bread and Bobby wants Domino’s.”
“All right! Calm down! Where’s your mom, anyway?”
“She’s got a headache.”
“Again!”
“And she’s upstairs resting.”
“OK, listen guys. I’m going upstairs to check on mom. Watch a movie and be quiet!“
“I wanna watch Spiderman!”
“You’re stupid! I wanna watch Mulan!”
“I hate you! I wanna watch Super Mario Bros!”
“MOM! DAD! MOM! DAD! MOM! DAD!”
“STOP SHOUTING THIS MINUTE!! MOM AND I HAVE DECIDED. WE’RE ORDERING FROM THE DINER SO EVERYONE CAN GET WHATEVER THEY WANT FROM ONE PLACE. SIT THERE WHILE I GET THE MENU.”
“Yay!! The diner!! The diner!! The diner!!”
“I want…….”
NAR © 2023
Author’s note: Bill and I have never used DoorDash or any of the other apps for meal delivery. I tried InstaCart once or twice but wasn’t happy with the produce and/or meat that was selected for me by someone else. We will occasionally order pizza or Chinese food when I don’t feel like cooking but I’d rather make my own pizza; it’s inexpensive, delicious and easy to do. Meal delivery is a wonderful service for people who have no other option. For us it’s an additional expense we don’t need.
The Elephant's Trunk 