
My husband Sam and I were hosting our usual Friday night dinner with friends, something weโve been doing for several years. Sam is a psychology professor at NYU and I manage Dahliaโs, an eponymously named floral shop.
Our weekly dinner companions are Claude and his wife Piper who own a small eclectic bookstore called The Paper Trail and Austin and Rebecca who have been engaged for seven years. Rebecca is a music teacher at a private school in Manhattan and Austin is a graphic designer. We keep asking them โWhenโs the big day?โ but neither one seems to be in a rush.
Our dinner conversations are always lively, touching on a variety of topics. This particular evening, Sam said โI asked my class this question today: โIf you had to choose between being deaf or being blind, which would you choose?โ Now, my friends, Iโd like to know how you would answer that question.โ My husband โ ever the provocateur! Perhaps thatโs what I find so stimulating about him.
Well, no big surprise, no one said anything for a moment; this was a profound question. I finally decided to break the ice by responding. โFor me, as a florist, I would have to say Iโd choose to be deaf. I need to see the arrangements Iโm creating, which color flowers go well together, the best bouquets to match bridesmaidโs dresses, even something as simple as placing flowers in the right vase. I wouldnโt have to hear the bell on the shopโs front door or the telephone ring; both can be hooked up to a light to get my attention. And customers could always email or text me with their orders. Why, I could even communicate with my customers via tablets in the shop. Iโd still be able to see and smell all the beautiful flowers, meet my customerโs expectations and take pride in my creations.โ
Spurred on by my answer, Austin chimed in. โExactly! I totally agree with Dahlia. In the field of graphic design, I would be incapable of working without the ability to see. These days there are so many electronic devices we can use to communicate; I donโt think being deaf would interfere with my life or my work at all.โ
Immediately Rebecca countered what we said. โI get where the two of you are coming from but I could never teach music if I were deaf. Iโd be able to place my fingers on the correct piano keys or strum the right strings on a guitar because Iโve been making music all my life. Itโs second nature to me. But I wouldnโt want to exist without the sound of music, to hear my students playing, to correct their mistakes or praise their achievements. It would be impossible for me to conduct an orchestra, not knowing if the violins should be a little louder or the bassoons pianissimo. Austin, if you were deaf, you wouldnโt hear the wedding march when I walk down the aisle or hear me say the words โI doโ.โ
Austin was quick to reply. โAs long as I could see your radiant face in your gorgeous wedding gown carrying the beautiful bouquet designed by Dahlia, thatโs all that would matter. And as far as hearing you say โI doโ, I would read your luscious lips before tenderly kissing my new bride.โ
We all laughed as Sam exclaimed โNice save, Austin! Claude and Piper, weโve yet to hear from you. Whatโs your poison โ deaf or blind?โ
As if on cue, both Claude and Piper declared their answers at the same time; he said โDeafโ; she said โBlindโ. They stared at each other in bewilderment and the rest of us couldnโt help but laugh at the expressions on their faces. Of course Sam had to keep the game going by saying โAt last! Some controversy, a little gasoline on the fire of our conversation. Letโs keep this ball rolling!โ and he poured everyone a fresh glass of wine.
Claude cleared his throat. โPiper, mon cher, we own a bookstore! How can you possibly say you would choose blindness over deafness? Mon Dieu! Have you forgotten how we bonded at that little book shop in Paris โฆ what was the name? Ah! La Manoeuvre! We both reached for the same book of poetry by Paul Eluard and when our eyes met I knew I could never look away.โโ
โOh, my darling Claude. I could never forget La Manoeuvre. You read poetry to me and time stood still. It was as though we were the only people in that shop. Our love for books is why we bought The Paper Trail; that store is our baby. I know each book on every shelf and have read most of them. The feel of the paper, the smell of the leather-bound first editions, hearing you read to me โ I do not need sight to love a book.โ
Piper and Claude moved closer to each other and embraced, momentarily forgetting they were not alone. They kissed, then pulled away, embarrassed. Piper blushed and gave a breathless laugh.
โClaude, do you remember the books I had in my bag the day we first met?โ Piper asked.
Claude nodded and said โOui. One was โWuthering Heightsโ in Braille and the other was French sign language. They were for your parents.โ
Piper looked around the room at the rest of us and explained. โMy mother is blind and my father is deaf. Somehow they never had trouble communicating; I suppose they spoke the silent language of love. Thatโs why I was so passionate about having a Braille section in our bookstore. Also, there is new technology to help both blind and deaf people enjoy a movie or television.โ
Turning to Claude, Piper said โAs long as I can hear your voice, it doesnโt matter if I never see another thing again.โ
We all felt a little in awe of Piper at that moment. We sipped our wine, captivated by the sounds of silence.
NAR ยฉ 2022