Dectina Refrain

Becoming Strangers: A Dectina Refrain

Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶

Written for Sue & Gerry’s Weekly Prompts Weekend
Challenge – ‘damaged’. This is my Dectina Refrain.

How
do some
friends we love
become strangers?
Bonds once like iron
now damaged like cheap glass.
It makes you ask the question …
Was the friendship ever that strong
to break apart at the slightest chip?
How do some friends we love become strangers?

NAR©2024

This is “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins

Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – Damaged

All text, graphics and videos are copyright for Nancy (The Sicilian Storyteller), The Sicilian Storyteller, The Elephant’s Trunk, and The Rhythm Section and are not to be used without permission. NAR©2017-present.

33 thoughts on “Becoming Strangers: A Dectina Refrain”

    1. Aren’t those thoughts just the pits? Look, I know I’ve pissed off my share of people but I’ve never turned my back and walked out of someone’s life. How do they do it and what alternative do we have other than to suck it up? I’ll be damned if I’m going to beg someone to let me back in after my apology was not accepted and my attempt at a reconciliation was rebuffed. They’re just not worth it. 😎

      Well, Fishman …. your Phil Collins comment gave me a good laugh. Just between you and me …. the videos I use for my stories do not always feature artists I like; the songs are chosen strictly because they fit the story. That said, I do like Phil Collins. Do I get my cookie now? 🍪

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    1. If you’re anything like me (and I know you are) you have to wonder how something so right and wonderful could turn on a dime and simply cease to exist. Eventually you just give up trying to make things right. It’s times like these when people show their true colors; we need to stop wondering what went wrong …. what WE did wrong …. and accept the fact they don’t care for us as much as we cared for them …. possibly never did. 🩶🖤🩶

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  3. I feel this to my bones because I will never learn why my late best friend Roxanne backed away. Her family were all dumbfounded and, at her funeral had nothing to give me. They knew not, either.

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    1. I can relate so deeply with this as a friend I called ‘sister’ hasn’t spoken to me in almost a year and the times we did communicate were via message and extremely stilted. It is impossible for me to comprehend how someone can turn on a dime the way she did, even though I made every effort to make things right. I’ve come to terms with this and now believe I am much better off without this person in my life.

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      1. It sucks as Roxanne went and died before I could find out the what’s what. We did have one get-together but I just couldn’t bring myself to discuss it, figuring this GT would be to reconnect and we’d have more. Nope. Next call I got from her was to tell me she was sick and that was that.
        And yes, in your case, I would have cut the ties, too. Move forward without lugging any unnecessary weight.

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          1. No, I’ve spoken to them off and on and Mr. Hébert just passed away last week. He didn’t want a service so I let them know that when they feel up to it, I would go for a visit. His wife Renée will feel so bereft after 63 years of a beautiful marriage. Watching those two together was inspiring.

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  4. A bff of 25 years and I parted ways about 25 years ago over a fight. Sometimes it’s the dumbest fights that hide the deepest rifts. And then you fall in and things spiral.

    I was cold when she was hurtful & insisted we’d fight again and remember and do better. She insisted I start counseling with her and her therapist. I had my divorce and two kids to take care of, a couple family members with cancer, crappy job (etc) & told her I couldn’t add another therapist to my list. Reminded her I loved her. She hates me still.

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    1. The ‘dumbest fights’ always hide something much deeper and more significant. If you were cold when she was hurtful, you were clearly trying to protect yourself from more hurt. I cannot understand where someone who is not a family member demands you go into therapy with them; maybe that’s commonplace but not in my play book. I can fully understand, with all you were going through, why you wouldn’t want to take on something like that. No, Liz, there is much more behind this breakup with your alleged bff. I know it hurts like hell but someone who can hold a grudge for 25 years isn’t worth your upset and turmoil. I wish you peace, my friend. ❤︎

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      1. Thanks, Nancy. I didn’t mention her severe depression & the meds that didn’t work. The good times we had those 25 years aren’t invalidated. I guess I had/have my own work to do to see thru those kind of unbalance relationships. It’s all good!

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        1. Depression is an awful thing. Mental illness tears lives apart. We don’t know who it’s going to strike next and we are never the same when it hits close to home. I’m sorry for the years of tension between you and your friend. Life can be very unfair sometimes.

          I hope you and your family enjoy a beautiful Thanksgiving, my friend. Sending love and hugs your way. 🧡

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  5. Sometimes the bond wasn’t strong enough, sometimes misunderstanding and ego can come in the way, sometimes you realise that the friendship lasted so long because you were the one who always made an effort and there are times when people grow up and grow apart because they were very different and time made that difference very apparent.

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    1. And sometimes there is a third part involved to complicate the situation. Often when three people are involved in a friendship, there’s jealousy and misunderstanding. If a friend chooses another person over you, then you are well ride of them. It’s not easy and it can hurt like hell but I believe we’re better off without that person. They are not worth our aggravation.

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  8. Sometimes friendships run their course, even long standing ones. At odds with family over religion and politics are the two heavies. My son and daughter in law are at odds with me because of both. Can the relationship be repaired? I am not sure, even if a truce was called, the problem would still be just under the surface.

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    1. That’s a big one, Phil, and I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. We had the same problem with my husband’s late twin brother and his wife. So many harsh words spoken in anger, never to be taken back, forgotten or forgiven. It is regrettable, ever-present and a very real strain on the best of relationships. I hope you, your son and his wife can get beyond your differences. 

      Sometimes friendships are like honeymoons; when the passion dims and reality sets in, the relationship slinks off into a corner and dies. I’ve been there and it’s not a comfortable position. 

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Phil. Wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving. 

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