Short Story

The Prayer

Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶

Written for The Unicorn Challenge where we are
asked to get creative in 250 words or less using
the photo below as inspiration. This is my story.

© Ayr/Gray

Before reading, I encourage you to click HERE for CE Ayr’s story.
It was his write that inspired me to pen this tale.
All will become clear.

Dear God in heaven, if you ever existed I implore you to hear my prayer. Please help me out of this purgatory … nay, hell … I am in. What have I ever done to deserve such heinous punishment, inhumane treatment? Me, a lad of just 17, thrown into a situation I could never imagine in my most macabre dreams.

Dearest Father. Do you see my suffering, my shame? I stand here before you naked, broken, ravaged, beaten, brutalized beyond comprehension. My innocence is lost. Never will I know the sweet love of a woman; all my dreams have been pummeled out of my head. I am senseless and inured to anything but debauchery.

My hands have been broken repeatedly, my body whipped and my neck garroted by my own mandolin strings. I will never play beautiful music for my dear mother ever again, I know that now.

Mother! Can you hear me? Are you searching for me or have you given up? I wouldn’t blame you if you had. I should have listened to your warnings: ‘be wary, my son, of all that seems too good’. You were right and now I find myself in Gehenna. Never again will I see your sweet face.

Mother of God, I beseech you! Show me a way out or kill me. Living is pointless.

And why? For accepting a seemingly innocent job to play music for a dinner party at the home of a veiled madman, my sadistic jailer, my dungeon keeper.

NAR©2024
250 Words

The Unicorn Challenge-25/10/24

This is “Mama Told Me (Not To Come)” by Three Dog Night

All text, graphics and videos are copyright for The Sicilian Storyteller, The Elephant’s Trunk and The Rhythm Section and are not to be used without permission. NAR©2017-present.

42 thoughts on “The Prayer”

  1. Your choice of song pulled me out the gibbering terror of the continuation of CE’s creepy tale. And now here I am, laughing hysterically and startling the coffee house, who are now calling 911.

    Happy Halloween!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Yes, re ending … I knew that was a chance but short of having the prisoner escape or kill his captor, I had little recourse. These are the hurdles writers face, especially when dealing with word restraints. Thanks for understanding that as I know you do. 🤷🏼‍♀️
      Appreciate you reading both stories, Destiny; that makes all the difference. Thank you for your kind comments. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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  11. I did exactly as you suggested and read CE’s first and I’m really pleased I did because the two tales go hand in hand perfectly. You took us right into the mind of the lad, almost beyond hope and living on a wing and a prayer.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  12. Nancy,
    What CE said and what Clarke said – all of that, and I’ll only add that your story, masterfully horrific as it was, gave me an exciting and warm feeling about this challenge and the people who take part.

    AND – I got more music too – more synergy.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Truly appreciate you echoing their comments, Jenne. I’m of the same mind re the synergy. It’s great to know there’s a flow here on the UC, one I was excited to follow.

      Music. IMO it is the last piece of jewelry I put on before a big night. It’s not chosen lightly for it can make or break an outfit. It needs to be perfect. What better than this tongue-in-cheek number to take the edge off? I had to use it. End of story, so to speak.

      Thanks so very much, Jenne!

      Liked by 3 people

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  13. Excellent….. (we need a word* for this kind of riffing off a story)

    like any good improvisation (imo) you have taken ceayr’s story and given us an insight he did not/could not due to the limitations of the word limit.

    like Coltrane’s version of ‘My Favorite Things’ you’ve kept the original close enough but not too close to the Reader’s mind. Surely the most difficult aspect of an improvisation, we are gently reminded of the root story while not being deprived of your contribution, ‘new’ story.

    coolio

    *sure, some rhetoritician in an autumn-dim empty classroom probably already has coined some greco-roman monstrosity, while sitting on a pile of stories he/she didn’t have the nerve to hit ‘Publish’ on.. lol

    Liked by 4 people

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    1. Oh, I love this line of yours …. sitting on a pile of stories he/she didn’t have the nerve to hit ‘Publish’ on

      One thing I don’t lack is nerve; I like to think skill is another. CE’s masterpiece deserved a nod and begged a response. I was happy to oblige.

      Danke, dude!

      Liked by 2 people

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  14. Brilliant, Nancy.
    The fact that you read my piece, felt the urge to respond, and did so with such skill, depth and emotion, reinforces my belief that there is now a synergy to the Challenge.
    We have several high quality contributors from whom we all learn, meaning that it has become greater than the sum of its parts.
    Bravo, mia cara amica !

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

    1. Gorgeous sentiment, CE! I agree completely with your line of thought.

      Full disclosure: I never read the other contributions before writing mine; I don’t want any notions in my head. For whatever reason, this week I read the other stories first. I had another piece written which I thought was excellent (and still may submit) but after reading yours there was no doubt in my mind that I needed to write something from the other side. I’m delighted to know you enjoyed and applaud my efforts. This Uni Synergy … it’s a beautiful thing!

      Mille grazie, caro!

      Liked by 3 people

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