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Now That’s A Tasty Beverage

The Sicilian Storyteller

Written for Fandango’s Story Starter #148, using the first sentence teaser,
and for Six Sentence Story, using the word ‘double’. Here’s my story:

She held out her arms to hug me, but I knew this wasnā€™t my house ā€” and she definitely wasnā€™t my wife but she was one of the most gorgeous women Iā€™d ever seen and I found it difficult to resist her charms; Iā€™ve always been a weak man ā€¦. whether it was women, drugs, drinking, gambling, sex ā€¦. I couldnā€™t control myself.

Strange sensations came over me and I felt disoriented; I was sweating but I had chills, my vision was blurry, my tongue seemed huge in my mouth …. about three times its normal size …. my head felt like it was under water and my equilibrium was off, making me stumble and lose my balance, walking into the furniture and reeling yet even though I desperately wanted this goddess standing before me, I was unable to reach her.

For no apparent reason, I suddenly remembered when I got home from work earlier that day, I found a new drink in the refrigerator ā€¦. 24 mini-cans of some beverage with exotic-sounding names such as Peach Bellini, Pineapple Mule, Mango Meringue, Grapefruit Paloma, Maui Sunset ā€¦. and it was totally bewildering to me that I could remember those names but not where I was, who I was, who this woman was and yet I knew for a fact that I drank a couple of those cans of delightful nectar; could be thatā€™s what was messing with my head …. making me be so unsure about some things but entirely certain about others …. not unlike taking quaaludes (the authentic Rorer 714s, not some cheap bootleg shit), dropping acid and then popping amyl nitrate all at the same time like some who-do voodoo cocktail.

I could hear this luscious woman talking but I was unable to reach her, to press her mind-bendingly magnificent body next to mine; her words were garbled and all I could make out was the name ā€œAlexā€ which was very strange because my name wasnā€™t Alex .ā€¦ or maybe it was .ā€¦ I wasnā€™t sure of anything except that I definitely downed several cans of exquisite ambrosia with exciting names.

Holding on to the back of the sofa to keep myself from falling, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and I gasped; I did a doubletake because even though my vision was definitely wonky, it wasnā€™t so bad that I couldnā€™t see that I had suddenly transformed into a very attractive black man much like Michael B. Jordan when just half an hour ago I was my usual George Costanza look-alike!

Then without warning the womanā€™s voice started morphing and began to sound familiar, kind of like my wife Alexis and when I looked up into the mirror I was no longer Michael B. Jordan ā€¦. I was back to my old self, plain old Fred Johnson ā€¦. and when I looked over at the woman, that voluptuous blonde with the perfect 44 double Ds had been replaced with my short, squatty wife of 37 years; well, that sucked and I quickly determined the only thing I could do was to drink more of those tasty beverages in mini-cans and pray my gorgeous fantasy girl would return but when I yanked open the door of the fridge, I was alarmed to see there was no more voodoo juice left and my heart sank because, as always, I couldnā€™t control my damn self, I had downed all the mini-cans of ecstasy and now it was just me and short, squatty Alexis.

NARĀ©2024

Fandangoā€™s Story Starter #148
Sundayā€™s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt!

This is ā€œI Drink Aloneā€ by George Thorogood and the Destroyers

All text, graphics and videos are copyright for The Sicilian Storyteller, The Elephantā€™s Trunk and The Rhythm Section and are not for use by anyone without permission. NARĀ©2017-present.

44 thoughts on “Now That’s A Tasty Beverage”

  10. A Ha! The real back story behind that great, big-shouldered Talking Heads song. This is fantastic!

    šŸŽ¶”Letting the days go by//water going under …” Once in a Lifetime

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    1. Thanks so much, D!

      There was a guy a knew a few years back who was perpetually dazed and confused and had an incredible penchant for smoking and gambling! He also lived/lives in his mother’s basement and I don’t see that changing ever. He may read this; if so, it’s the truth and he knows it so….. Anyway, he was my muse but I added a few peccadilloes which he did not have just to make the tale more interesting.

      Living life on the corner of Dumb and Dumber. šŸ˜‚ šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

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    1. One of the things I enjoy about writing (and there are a lot) is living on the edge between fiction and reality, being able to incorporate the two and leave people wondering just how much of a story is true. It’s great fun to go to extremes and live vicariously through my characters. But there has to be some truth behind it which is why you’ll very rarely find me writing about SciFi or the supernatural. I’m much better at writing about things I can relate to.

      Thanks for your great comments today, Matt.

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      1. I am envious of people like you and my friend Sharon who have such vivid imaginations and live on that edge you so poignantly described. Yes, when the story in the reader’s mind steps out of the fictional world and becomes ‘real’ to them to the point they feel introspective and wonder if it was tailor made for them. That seemingly nondescript quality in a writer cannot be taught because it must be something the writer can relate to – as you mentioned. It becomes living and breathing and transcends the barrier of writer / reader.

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