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When Death Comes

Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶
Bill & Jim at their childhood home, City Island, The Bronx, NY circa 1950

My husband encouraged me to write today; I didn’t want to …. I felt like I should sit by his side, hold his hand, cry with him but his tears and his grief have not hit home yet.

One minute he’s walking around the house in a daze, the next he’s playing LEGOs with our 4 year old granddaughter. It’s good for her to be here; she’s keeping him distracted.

You see, my darling husband Bill’s twin brother Jim died today around 12:30pm. His wife Lynne went upstairs to their bedroom and found him on the floor. She tried desperately to breathe life into him but he was gone. Just like that, alive one minute and dead the next.

Losing a sibling is so hard; losing an identical twin is unfathomable. I am Bill’s wife but his twin brother was his other half and I say that with nothing but love in my heart. They shared their mother’s womb, their crib, their playpen, their bedroom, their car. They went to school together, worked in the same marina together for many summers. Bill graduated Iona College first in his class; Jim was second. They even failed the army physical together!

They were on polar opposites of the political page and their taste in women couldn’t have been more different but in every other way, they were as one. Of course they looked the same and talked the same, they had the same laugh, the same sense of humor. They loved watching hockey and going fishing together. Now that will never happen again.

If you look at the last photo on the bottom of the page you’ll see them, two little suntanned towheads sitting side by side fishing with their older brother, dad and grandfather. Now everyone in that boat is gone except for my husband, Bill.

All I’m thinking about right now is what a great time Jim and Lynne had last week. They spent the whole week in North Carolina with their son, his wife and two teenage grandchildren. They texted photos of everyone on the boardwalk, arms around each other, looking incredibly happy.

Bill and Jim. The Twins. The Richy Twins. When people saw one, they saw the other. Now there’s only one and nothing from this moment on will ever be the same.

NAR©2024

Bill & Jim at their brother’s wedding
Bill & Jim in Hampton Bays, NY
Bill & Jim celebrating a birthday
Bill & Jim working on a puzzle
The Richy Men

Until we all meet again, rest easy, Jim. Our hearts are broken.

This is Joe Brown, “I’ll See You In My Dreams”.

All text, graphics and videos are copyright for The Sicilian Storyteller, The Elephant’s Trunk and The Rhythm Section and is not for use by anyone without permission. NAR©2017-present.

88 thoughts on “When Death Comes”

  1. Dear Nancy,

    This brings tears to my eyes. A beautifully written tribute. My heart goes out to you and Bill on your loss. I often wonder what’s worse, losing someone to a lingering illness or sudden, unexpected death. Having experienced both, I’ve come to the conclusion that loss is loss and cannot be measured. Again, a wonderfully written piece.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    1. Thank you for your kind and comforting words, Rochelle. The world as Bill knows it will never be the same; his brother, his best friend, his other half for 75 years has died and it is incomprehensible to us. We are so very sad.

      I have often asked myself the same question about sudden death and lingering illness and my answer is the same as your …. each death, no matter the circumstance, is a huge loss and cannot be compared to another.

      We are grateful for the many wonderful years Bill and Jim had together and the memories they created; those can never be taken away.

      Our hearts are warmed by the outpouring of caring, loving comments from the writing community; our grief is lightened because of them.

      Thank you, dear Rochelle, for sharing your lovely thoughts this evening; that means the world to me.

      Peace.

      🩶 🕊️

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  2. Oh Nancy, I’ve just found this. I’m so sorry for your and Bill’s loss. Your tribute to him here is lovely, and I’m sure will be a comfort. I can’t begin to imagine how your husband must feel, and how you all feel, but my thoughts and heartfelt sympathy are with you.

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    1. Thank you, dear Margaret. We are reeling, searching for answers we will never find. The loss and sadness are immeasurable; this is the toughest mountain for my husband to climb. Your kind and gracious words are a comfort and we are both so appreciative.

      I’m just starting to get back into writing; it’s a great help.

      Thank you.

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  3. Nancy I am so sorry I missed this but I have been having some nasty health issues and have skipped posts.

    I can’t add to what others have said as you can see we do care for you. I am so sorry for your loss thank goodness Bill has you to help him through . 💜💜

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    1. There’s no need for you to apologize, Willow, and I hope you are starting to feel better.

      Thank you for your kind and comforting words. Bill and I are reading through all the comments; there’s such an outpouring of true caring and sympathy, it has warmed our hearts. 🩶🩶

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  6. Sadly, I clicked on the ‘Like’ button but it was for your wonderful letter of love you’ve written here for your husband and his brother. Death is part of life but we’re never prepared. A long illness might have been much more drainging on everyone. Still, it’s shocking to the people who aren’t expecting this to happen. I hope your family finds comfort in the many memories they shared. My deepest condolences go to all of you. R.I.P.

    🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

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  7. So beautifully written, Nancy
    Bill obviously knows you so well and I’m sure this piece will be a consolation to him in days to come.
    My condolences to you all and a big hug to you.

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  11. My heart aches for both of you. Grieving is hard and unpredictable. You have honored Jim well with this tribute. Take care of yourselves everything else can wait. I’ll be praying for you, Jim, and the rest of the family.

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  20. Oh Nancy. I have a lump in my throat and a ball in my chest. What a beautiful tribute to Jim.

    My deepest condolences to Bill and the rest of your family for this humungous loss.

    That last picture is a treasure.

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  31. Oh gosh, Nancy–my eyes filled with tears, feeling the loss of someone I didn’t know…from such a distance. The pictures are wonderful, full of memories…and such handsome guys!! I’ll keep your husband, and all the rest of your family in my prayers that God will be an ever present comfort and heart-healer. Love and blessings, Vee.

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  34. I am so sorry to read this Nancy. My heart goes out to you and your family. I have heard of the deep connections that twins share and I cannot begin to imagine the grief and hurt that your husband is feeling. I will be praying for you, your husband, your family and your brother-in-law’s family as well. Sending my deepest condolences…

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      1. Hi Nancy Your testament to Jim is So beautiful and has touched my heart deeply. My name is Colleen my husband is Dean Pecoraro. We are close friends of Janie, Patrice & Raffie. I met Lynne & Jim once briefly but I know them through Janie who speaks of them so lovingly.
        Dean grew up here with The Ferris family. We are SO deeply sorry and saddened to hear this devastating news. We send you and Bill our deepest sympathy and so much love to your hearts. Colleen and Dean Pecoraro.

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