Short Story

DADDY GOES TO THE MALL

Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶

Denise @ GirlieOnTheEdge
has once again challenged us
to write a Six Sentence Story,
incorporating the word “limit”.
This is my response.
🎅🏼

“Now listen up, kids, because Daddy’s had just about enough of this nonsense; I’m at the end of my rope and very close to losing it right here in front of Cinnabon, you hear me?

Every year it’s the same thing with you kids; Timmy, Sally .… I need you guys to get a grip because people are starting to stare, mall security is checking me out and the big guy in the red suit is becoming impatient.

Try to remember what we talked about last night when I read you a bedtime story, how you gotta behave because Santa is watching all the time and he knows when you’re being naughty (like now) or when you’re being nice; if you want Santa Claus to come to our house this year and bring you Christmas presents, you better shape up this minute and stop crying or else you’re gonna get a big fat lump of coal in your stocking!

Sally, I know you want Mommy right now but the last time I saw her she was ducking into Ye Olde Candle Shoppe and she hasn’t come out yet …. as if we really need more goddamn candles that smell like fruit cake and reindeer balls …. it ain’t normal, I’m telling you; look, we’re next in line to see Santa so everybody settle down, stop crying and when we’re all done we’ll go down to the food court and get ice cream at Baskin Robbins, ok?

Hold on a second, kids, cos one of the elves is putting up a sign and I wanna see what it says; whoa, whoa, whoa …. wait up there, pal …. what’s with the sign?

Ok, change of plans, kids …. Santa’s taking a lunch break and won’t be back till 3:00 so we’re gonna go hunt down Mommy in the friggin’ candle store and then we’re gonna go home where Daddy can watch Sunday football and have a couple of cold ones and Mommy can bring you back to the mall tomorrow while I’m at the office; Timmy, Sally …. for fuck’s sake …. that’s enough now cos Daddy’s good and pissed and has reached his limit …. so stop with the damn crying or I’ll really give you something to cry about!”

NAR © 2023

Sunday’s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt!
FOWC with Fandango — Grip
Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge – Red!
FOWC with Fandango — Normal

This is Bob Rivers & Twisted Christmas with “I Am Santa Claus”

It’s Birthday Thursday today
at The Rhythm Section.
Stop by and see who’s
celebrating a birthday!
No fuss, no muss;
just wall-to-wall-music!
https://rhythmsection.blog/

39 thoughts on “DADDY GOES TO THE MALL”

  3. I love this and so well written as I can feel the tension with each new word Nancy. I don’t like the idea of taking the small time kids have to believe in wondrously amazing things, including Fairy 🧚🏻, and using that to threaten kids. Big hugs 🥰

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    1. Thanks, Michele!
      Sometimes you just have to let the dialogue take over and go with the flow.
      It was great fun playing the role of the fed up, caveman Dad who’d rather be anywhere than where he was.
      Appreciate your gracious comments! ✍🏼 🫶🏼

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      Reply

      1. You’re welcome and yes, absolutely! It is great brain fun to let the characters carry on a talk while we do our best to transcribe. 😁 Writing gives us a valid purpose for the many voices that live up upstairs. 🙃

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  5. I think I feel more sympathy for those poor children who waited and missed out than the bad tempered Dad who couldn’t handle it!
    Just perfect for our RED colour challenge, thank you for sharing it with us. 🙂

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  12. Nice use of “like now” in “Santa is watching all the time and he knows when you’re being naughty (like now) or when you’re being nice”. Santa probably saw those kids coming and figured it was time for a lengthy lunch break.

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  14. This is one of few tortures my mother didn’t put us through. My DIL did this every year with Emma and Ethan until last year when Emma, 15, declared she was not sitting on some old fart’s knee and huffed off with her brother in the direction of Krispy Kreme. 😂

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  16. “as if we really need more goddamn candles that smell like fruit cake and reindeer balls” 😂
    (4 prompts… strike! 🎳 )

    But wait… where is grandma… oh, I know where

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