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SELF-PRESERVATION

Nancy's Notes 🖊️♬

“’Settlers or Sellers’, that antiques show is coming on. Wanna watch, Doug?”

Just then the phone rang. It’s our daughter Chrissy talking about how tomorrow’s going to be a gorgeous day and our five grandkids really want us to go to the beach with them. 

“Ok, honey. Sounds wonderful. We’ll see you in the morning. Yes, we’re looking forward to it.” 

Doug, who had been happily watching “Seinfeld”, was now sitting imperially on the edge of the couch scowling at me. 

“What was that remark ‘’we’ll see you in the morning’’? I don’t know about you, Helen, but the only people I’ll be seeing in the morning are my golf buddies. We’re going to rent a couple of carts, play 18 holes, drink martinis with lunch, talk sports and smoke cigars. I’m begging you, Helen. Don’t take my day away!” 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic! You can play golf any day. When do we get to go to the beach with the kids.” 

“As infrequently as possible!” Doug groused. “And I’d like to keep it that way.” 

“Oh, come on! Summer’s almost over and the kids are so looking forward to a day with us.” 

“And I’m looking forward to seeing my buddies! We’ve had this outing planned for two weeks. Helen, must I remind you what hell it is going to the beach with the kids?” 

“Doug, you’re making it sound horrible.” 

“Helen, my love, it is horrible! We’ve been to the beach with the kids exactly three times. Do you know why? Because it’s HELL!” 

“But Doug, I hate to disappoint them.” 

“And that, my dear, is your Achilles Heel. We start off excited for a great beach day and within an hour it turns into hell. Chrissy brings so much stuff we’re like the Israelites crossing the desert. Who complains the sand is too hot?  Who needs a diaper change? Who drops their lunch in the sand? Who fights over the sand toys? Before you know it, everyone’s crying, they want to go home and our wonderful day at the beach is kaput.” 

“And you’re the one crying the loudest, Doug” I laughed. 

“Damn right I am, woman.  It’s a nightmare and you know it! Listen, why don’t I call the guys and suggest our lovely wives join us tomorrow? You haven’t played in months. How about it?”  

The idea was very appealing. “Doug, do they still serve those delicious Celtic Guey Cocktails and Waldorf salads?” 

“You bet they do! I know they’re you’re favorites. What do you say? Are we on?” 

“Yes! We certainly are on! You call the guys and I’ll call Chrissy. I hope the kids aren’t too disappointed.” 

Doug kissed the top of my head. “Honey, it may not seem like it now but you’re doing us all a favor. The kids will be just fine – and so will we. Now call Chrissy.” 

Feeling just a wee bit guilty, I dialed Chrissy’s number. 

“Chrissy, sweetheart. About tomorrow. So sorry to disappoint but your dad just reminded me ……”

NAR © 2023

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21 thoughts on “SELF-PRESERVATION”

    1. I used to like the beach a lot more than I do now; I love the healing power of salt water. But trudging through the sand after a knee replacement is a hell of a lot tougher than I thought it would be!
      Just save me a lounger by the pool! ⛱️ 🏊🏼‍♀️

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    1. Haha! I used to go to the beach all the time. Getting your skin primed with that first good burn was a real thing back then. Now I get itchy just thinking about sand getting into places I didn’t know I had. No, as much as I love the ocean, I’d rather look at it than be in it.

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    1. You know what I’ve learned over the years, Sadje?
      1. Anything done out of guilt is beneficial to no one.
      2. Kids are resilient; they won’t stay disappointed forever.
      3. Keep family ties strong but not to the point of strangulation.
      4. Mothers are usually right but mothers-in-law seldom are. 😂

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