BALLS TO THE WALL

While reading the real estate section, my wife Jen called out to me. “Hey, Eric, check this out. You know that community we love? One of the houses is available, has everything we want plus a big yard and a pool. And get this .. their asking only $275,000! That’s well within our budget!”

“Seriously? Those houses usually go for twice as much! Wonder why it’s so low.”

“The agent’s number is right here” replied Jen. “Let’s call.”

After talking to the agent, we agreed to meet at noon. When we arrived she explained that the owners had moved out of the country and were anxious for a quick sale. The community was lovely and families were outside enjoying the great weather. The house was even more beautiful than we imagined .. not a thing wrong. We asked the agent to make arrangements for an inspector to check everything out and a few days later he reported the house to be in excellent condition, removing all doubts.

“Well, babe”, I said, giving Jen a hug, “looks like we just found our dream house!”

Two weeks later we moved in and everyone was very friendly. In fact, the guy next door came over and invited us to a community welcoming barbecue that weekend. We knew we were gonna love this place.

The barbecue was fun and later on at home we talked about how nice our neighbors were. In particular, Jen was surprised by how helpful the men were, “Except for that one incident when Barb got annoyed with Gil because his mashed potatoes were lumpy!” she laughed.

As time passed, we couldn’t help noticing that all the men were house-husbands while all the women went to work. How odd! One night Gil called to invite me to the Friday night poker game at his house and Jen to a ladies night at Susan’s.

The game was going well when Gil suddenly asked “So, Eric, when are you gonna get your balls snipped?”

Nearly choking, I sputtered “WHAT??”

“Sure! We’re all snipped. Dr. Susan does it .. smooth and rapid. Our wives convinced us life would be much calmer that way .. and it is. Here’s her number.”

Mumbling excuses, I left the game and darted home .. colliding into Jen running from the other direction.

“Do you know what they do here?!?” she asked, horrified.

I nodded frantically. “And the only things getting cut are our losses! We’re outta here!”